30 days of Thankfulness ~Day 17

Well, I had all kinds of stuff I was debating to put on today's blog, but with the turn of events from today, I have nothing.
My emotions are so out of whack and i have so much going on in my brain right now I don't even know how to feel.
Nothing I can share right now, but just please be in prayer for some of our friends.
guess I'm just thankful for this blog to openly ask for prayer and my children. I'm holding them a little closer tonight!

Look, she's praying

Last night we all sat down to eat and Delayna kept putting her head down on her hand on the table. We were trying to figure out what she was doing. We noticed she wasn't eating and kept doing this.
So, I announced, "Let's say our prayers so we can eat."
Jose said he would say them and again, she put her head down on her hands and kept her head down. He started praying and as he did, I watched her. She would pop her head up, look around and see we were still praying and then put her head back down.
My little girl is SO sweet. It blesses my heart to see that she is praying with us over dinner.

WOAH, Gut Check Time!!!

Lately God has been dealing with me with my 'self worth' I guess you could say. Something I have ALWAYS dealt with. Just not feeling worthy enough for anyone, thing or body. He has been placing me into positions and places that I wouldn't normally place myself & if I was in it, I would run as fast as I could to get myself out of the 'situation'.
Well, this past month or so He has been placing me in situations that I have opened my heart to, stepped into and accomplished.
For example, something so simple & stupid (IMO)...
I am the Fundraiser Coordinator for AYSO (Soccer). I have no problems talking to people 1:1, but presenting something is a whole other ball game for me. For the past 2 years I have skidded out of presenting the Fundraiser Info at the Team Parent Meeting. Well this past week, not only did I show up for the Team Parent Meeting, but I stood up infront of who knows how many people and presented the fundraiser info. It was a little intimidating, considering I had about 4 friends out there that in the past I would have been afraid of them judging me. Not to mention, my Pastor & his wife...I know, they're just humans just like I am, but it's a little intimidating to me (just being transparent).
Well, in my opinion, I did one heck of a job presenting & getting the info out to the parents. I had a few trip ups, but I kept on going & enjoyed myself.

So, a few months ago, I was presented with the opportunity to become a table leader at my MOTS group. Not something that I had ever intended on doing, I'm just fine coming every other week and spending time with Godly women, fellowshipping, eating, praying, etc. But, I felt a nudge. So I contacted Kindra in regards to becoming a table leader...Come to find out, she was praying about me being one...WHAT, NO WAY! Now that was just a confirmation that God wanted me there.

Now this past Saturday, Monica informed me that there was a Leadership Meeting that Jose & I was supposed to attend. Well, I was all confused. Jose told me about it a while back, but I didn't hear anything else about it. Jose reminded me that Mick & Janie asked him that we both attend. So we changed our plans & went. Once again, Ken stated that not only him & his wife, Lisa, was praying about every person there at that meeting, but so was a couple more married couples regarding who they wanted trained up to be leaders in the church....WOW, God once again has told me that He wants me in this position.

One more...I have had a nudge to start leading a Women's Home Bible Study...Do I feel worthy? Nope! He has been telling me this for quite sometime now, but I shush Him and tell Him, NO! Who am I to "Shush" God??? How dare I! So, I stepped out and called Janie in regards to this...Once again, confirmation from her about it. I still have to sit with her and go over somethings, but I know God is positioning me...WOW!

Today, I checked my daily email & was reading my Proverbs 31 Encouragement For The Day... And, yes, again, another confirmation. Here's what it said...

27 Aug 2009

Lysa TerKeurst

"I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws." Psalm 119:30 (NIV)

As a little girl, I had longed for a daddy to pick me up, swing me around, and tell me I was lovely and loved. When this childhood longing went unmet, it became an adult emptiness and brokenness that drove me to seek out all kinds of misguided remedies.

My primary remedy was to look for someone or something that would make me feel loved and significant. It's as if I carried around a little heart-shaped cup and extended it to whatever or whomever I perceived might fill it.

I presented the cup to my education: "Will you fill me?"

I offered it to my husband: "Will you fill me?"

I held it out to my child: "Will you fill me?"

I extended it to my material possessions: "Will you fill me?"

I presented it to each of my jobs: "Will you fill me?"

Within these questions were many more entanglements: "Will you right all my wrongs?" "Will you fill up my insecurities?" "Will you make me feel significant?" The more I offered my emptiness hoping something could fill it, the more frustrated I felt.

And when I had grown in my faith, I was especially perplexed. Wasn't being a Christian supposed to fix these kinds of issues in my heart? What was I missing?

Have you ever been there?

Why is it so tempting to look to things of this world for fulfillment? This notion that worldly things can fulfill is all around us. It's on TV, the focus of countless secular songs, and it's what dominates American advertisements. I can't even stand in the grocery store checkout lane without being bombarded with suggestions for a more fulfilling life. A better husband. A better body. A better career. A more beautifully decorated house. The magazines seem so slick, their promises so enticing. They sneak into our thought processes and make us think, "If only I had _______________, I'd be so happy. I'd be so fulfilled."

So, we chase and chase until we bankrupt our relationships, our bank accounts, and our very souls. The reality is every single thing the world offers is temporary. No person, possession, profession, or position can ever fill the cup of a wounded, empty heart—not my heart, not your heart. It's an emptiness only God can fill.

Whatever "if only I had" statement we are struggling with, we can replace it with solid truths from Scripture that will never leave us empty. It's a bold statement to make and might even sound a bit trite, but it's true.

When God's Word gets inside of us, it becomes the new way we process life. It rearranges our thoughts, our motives, our needs, and our desires. Our soul was tailor made to be filled with God and His truth; therefore, it seeps into every part of us and fills us completely. It is the only perfect fit.

Dear Lord, we ask today that You set within us a passion for Your Word. A passion that will override the fleshly desire within us to chase after fulfillment from people, possessions, professions, or positions. Lord, help us place the highest importance on getting into Your Word every day. And may we always approach Your Word with a humility of need and a heart ready to receive all You want to teach us. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa TerKeurst's blog for a list of her favorite Bible Verses. This is just the jump start you need to get into God's Word each day.

If you connected with this devotion, you won't want to miss Lysa's upcoming book, Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl. To order your copy today, click here.

What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Fill in this blank: I've always thought, "If only I had _________________ I'd be happy and fulfilled.

Now, visit Lysa's blog for a list of Bible Verses to help replace this faulty script we play in our minds.

Reflections:
What or who have I tried to get fulfillment from?

How does this damage my relationships?

Power Verses:
Psalm 19:7a, "The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul." (NIV)

Psalm 27:10 -11a, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me your way O Lord; lead me in a straight path…" (NIV)

Psalm 45:1a, "My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king…" (NIV)

© 2009 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

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Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road, Matthews, NC 28105
877-P31-HOME (877-731-4663)

WOW, what a 'Gut Check'. Thank you Father for who you are in me! I praise you for your love & the fullness I can find, ONLY IN YOU! I praise you and give you ALL of the Glory!
I pray that I continue to seek your face daily and listen to your voice. That even though my life is hectic that I continually see the work you are completing in me. In Jesus name...Amen


PS, school updates are coming, I just needed to get this out...My schedule & life has me running at the moment, but I will catch up!

I love my church!

I don't know if I've ever expressed how much I love my church family or not.
Well, I LOVE MY CHURCH FAMILY!
I went back to church today, after a two week hiatus (I know, LONG TIME, but I was getting cabin fever & my spirit was really feeling dry). It felt SO good! It was a rainy cold day, but when I got there, I felt so warm and bubbly inside. My church is so much like my family that I felt like I went back home after a long vacation.
Everyone was very respectful with Delayna. Of course they wanted to see her, but they all kept their distance and weren't all touchy-feely like a lot of people are when they see a baby.
Silly Dena, came up after service and attacked her, which I found totally hilarious! Dena has become a special person in my life, and there are many people like that in my church. So for the select few, I don't mind them holding her, but just be respectful and don't take her if your sick, etc.
Pastor's message was really good! I was determined to be there today just so I could hear his message. He is doing a series called, "The Homefield Advantage". Today's message was, "How to raise a 'G' rated child in an 'X' rated world."
If you would like to see his message you can find it here: LCC Videos
I am proud to say that out of his 10 message points, Jose and I have learned to make it an intention to do many of them in our children's lives already.
Being such a young mom when I started, I now see that God has really had his hand in my life to see that my children are raised to be 'His' children, and not just mine.
To look back at the type of father Jose was years ago & to see him today is a blessing too! He has always loved his children, but he also chose to put other things ahead of his family. He has been blessed with a job this past year that has allowed him time at home & he really sees how important we are in his life. I LOVE having him home on rainy days (even though it sucks financially!). He has also built a relationship with God that has manifested a love for his family into his heart that wasn't there before.
Being able to be at church with a message like today with all four of my children was awesome!
At the end of Pastor's message, he had us all stand with our family. Anthony was sitting by himself, where we were together, but I had to move due to miss fussy. Adriana was sitting with Sarah & some other youth. Dominic was in K-Town.
So, Anthony, Adriana & Sarah all came over to stand with Jose & I. Jose had Anthony on one side of him & I had the Delayna in my arm & the girls to my right. Being able to stand there and pray over my kids was so heart filling. And to have my neice there to pray over is always special to me too.
I can't wait to see what God has planned for my children's lives. I know they will make their own choices, but I pray that what is instilled in them now will grow and continue to guide them as they venture out into the world.

A test of faith

I have been being taught lately to have "Faith". Let me tell ya, have Jose and I been tested in this water!
The Websters definition for Faith is: belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust
WOW, now if that aint the truth in my life right now!
As I was talking to God this morning and just asking him for what needs to be done. I asked Him, "Lord, give me something."
I was going through my lesson for Sunday, Nothing.
Going through some message boards, like I would find anything there.
Then I started going through some updated blogs. There is one that I follow that has been off for a while, but she updated last night. What she wrote caught my eye and included a song.

I am in a valley right now but I HAVE to believe that He will bring me through....please keep me in your prayers.

So simple, yet so powerful! So as I post this, I just ask that you keep my family in your prayers.

A Vessel Of Honor For God

Well, some may know, and others may not. I have been doing a bible study at the YCC church for 5 weeks now. The study is called Daniel and it is by Beth Moore.
I have had my grandma, 2 of my great aunts & a cousin just boast about how awesome Beth Moore's bible studies are. Personally, I am not one to sit and watch christian channels on t.v. all day. I guess you can say that it is something that I have been turned off of due to my mom's extreme watching of it my whole life.
*I am NOT saying that there is anything wrong with watching those leaders on t.v., it's just not my thing. I would rather hear my pastor and learn from personal bible studies rather than watching some random person teach on television.*
Well, my MOTS group was announcing a while back that YCC was going to be doing a study on Daniel by Beth Moore. I remembered my cousin, Robin, telling me about it. She really had an experience with that particular study and highly recomended it to me.
Knowing this, I had a yearning in my hear to go, but looking at circumstances, I didn't see how it would be possible.
Well, talking to a friend of mine, she suggested that I ask my co-worker to come in an hour early so that I could get home, get Domi ready and get my butt to the church by 9am.
Well, I prayed and asked the Lord to open the doors and sure enough, he did!
I began my bible study and was just in awe.
To save time, our sanity and cut down on the reading, I won't go into all that I learned in the begining. I do have to say though, I don't understand how anyone can denounse God. I know there are SO many things in the bible that show how real he is, but read Daniel 2 and really pay attention to the profetic empires that came to pass. Even history books tell about those empires. How can we denounse this!?!
Ok, so on to today...
While in small group, I opened up and asked for prayer. The Lord has opened my eyes to what Satan is attempting to do in my life since starting this bible study. I shared with the group that since the start of the study, satan has been attacking me in places in my life that I didn't think were issues anymore. Things are coming up inside of me, making me take a step back and evaluate myself through this.
I praise God that He has given me wisdom to turn to Him in this time of need. To stand up to Satan & lean upon God's grace and loving mercy.

And So, We are starting the study on Daniel 5.
As I sat and listened to Beth go through this chapter and write out the points that she brings out for us, I sat in awe.
Exactly what I just asked for prayer for, God spoke to me right through this video of Beth.
Here are some points

• We are holy vessels in the house of the Lord. BUT, Satan can make you feel unholy. By making you feel unholy, you will begin to live that way.
• I have been declared Holy, God set his name upon MY head. I have to claim it and allow myself to feel this way.
• Nothing makes Satan more happy than us to go against what God has for us. If he can convince us that we are less than, he can get to us and make us "toast an unholy cause." *anyway that we choose to act less than who WE ARE!*
• Satan has no greater agenda than attempting to desecrate what God consecrates.
• Vessels that have been treated as unholy can be treated as HOLY AGAIN! PRAISE GOD!
  

After the bible study a woman from my small group came up to me and really spoke life into me. Basically telling me that I am blessed. The Lord has something for my life and satan is fighting hard to make Melissa feel less than what Melissa is.
Growing up my mom & my great Aunts have always told me that I am blessed. That the Lord has destined me for something great. And that He has always have and always will have His hand upon my life.
I never doubted this, but also never completely understood it until today.
I thought that my blessings were just having a home, a husband, my children & living life to the abundance I am.
BUT, it's not. I am blessed beyond measure. The Lord has blessings bigger than I can EVER imagine.
Pastor Todd has been preaching on "What to do when." and he stated something that is lining up with all of this & I am opening my eyes to it all. He stated, "The Lord has something greater for our lives than what we think." "We think medeocracy and he says GREATNESS, ABUNDANCE & MORE THAN YOU CAN DREAM." (That was all translated into my own words :-) )
As of today I am seeing that I am more than a blessing. I have so much more waiting for me than what I expect for my life.
I am a holy vessel & I will learn to treat myself this way.
Before closing, I want to share a prayer that Beth prayed with us today...

A Vessel Of Honor For God
I, (your name) belong to God.
I am a holy vessel because I house the Holy Spirit of the Living God.
The Lord of heaven and earth has said over me, "I declare you holy."
Today I commit to start believing what He says. I AM HOLY!
Empower me daily, Spirit of the Living God, to treat myself as holy.
Open my eyes to every scheme of the enemy to treat me as if I'm not.
You God, are God.
Your Word is truth.
This day, Father, I choose to believe You.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

Then before the study we sang a song that is about 30 years old. The director said he never heard it, but I KNOW I have! Maybe going to church with my grandma or mom as a child, but I have sang this song!

A Vessel Of Honor
A vessel of honor for God
A vessel of honor for God
Sanctified Holy, that I may be,
A vessel of honor for God.