Graduation Day!

OK, so I'm about a month late posting this, but it's up!
Anthony graduated from Jr. High aka Middle School on June 10, 2010.
Jose, Delayna, Adriana, James, Gail, my mom & I all went to his graduation.
It was definitely a bitter sweet day! We are so very proud of our boy, but man, time sure has flown! I can't believe how much he has grown and how the years have placed us to where we are at today.
Here are some pics that I got...

Walking up


Waiting in line to hit the stage


Looking to see how much longer he has to wait...my boy, he was so nervous, but wouldn't admit it.


Standing with his Principle Mr. Wood


With a soccer buddy, Matthew Hamilton aka Matt aka Dynamite


Best Friends Forever! Jessica, Cera, Me & Ant


Ant & Cera (don't they look so happy together, I should bust out their bath pics! Ant is 20 days older than Cera...CRAZY!)


Silliness


Adi & Ant...she loves her big brother!


My Man & His Boy


Ant and his baby, Dizzy Dee...he loves his baby!


The boys swinging Dee


Taking "Bobo" out for breakfast


Awe, a Mama & Her Baby Boy...I love this kid!

Twilight Trilogy!!!

Our local theater had a showing of Twilight, New Moon and the premier of Eclipse. I got tickets for Little & I to go to our first "Girls Night Out". We met up with Cynthia and Loretta at the theater...It was SUCH an awesome time and a night I will always remember!!!

Here's a pic of Little & I


Cynthia & Little

Cynthia & Adi's feet...we were waiting in line forever just to get in! Nothing else to take pics of I guess...LOL!

Beach Trip 7.12.10

After being busy as ever these past few months, Jose had the day off and we decided to get the flock out of here! We took off and went to the beach. We found a perfect parking spot, not too far from the shore. It was empty where we went & enjoyed the day away from home, life, etc... (I even left my cell in the truck, so I wouldn't be tempted to text or facebook!) I really enjoyed myself and came home just in a different mood. Anyhoot, here's some pics (of course!)


My Honey Skin Boarding




Berry & I


My Pretty Girl


Delayna chasing the seagull

Honey, my other son & Ant


Bits made this sand creation. He was so excited, he asked me to take a picture. Then Little suggested putting it on Sprout. Which Bit's finished...Online dot com...LOL!


My sexy boy, getting so big & muscular


Papa & the babies

Friends & Heartache

After reading my friend Jessica's blog, I decided to blog about my friends.
Once again, I'm at a crossroads as to who my "real friends" are. You think you have them and there are those who lead you to believe that they are your friend...BUT are they?
I had a deep intimate conversation with a friend recently who informed me that some of my "friends" have really been talking about me. Not only to her, but others. As well as others talking about me.
I'm not going to lie, it hurts. But I guess that's why I have this wall built up around my heart. Pastor Todd has taught us that if we have illness with our "brother or sister" we are to go to them. But how do you go to someone who is intentionally doing this...it's their character. I've heard it come out of their mouths about other people. Never thought that it would come out about me, but I guess if that's their character, they will talk about everyone.
I've ALWAYS had issues with making friends. I'm one who will love and trust you with all I have, and even if you hurt me, I will push it aside and continue to love you. Guess that's what happens when your abused as a child. But as I've grown older, I've learned to build a wall up. It's a defense mechanism. It allows me to let people "in", but if I'm ever hurt, the wall is there not allowing the pain to penetrate me. After an offense is done, I learn, I can't trust that person. I don't even know how to deal with it.
There was an incident that happened recently where someone meant to tell someone something about me, but ended up telling me. Not the other person. How do I deal with this? I acted as if nothing ever happened. It hurt, but I don't even know what to do. I now know this person isn't a friend. I now know I can't trust this person. I now know this person is another one of those people talking smack about me. I will NEVER be a "friend" to this person.
But how do I address this person? I feel as though it needs to be confronted, but how?
Melissa knows to just let it go & not say anything. To keep my wall up, but still be there to hang out or whatever.
I guess once again, it's been proven...You can't trust anyone! I've been hurt in my life enough, it's no wonder why I have such a hard wall built up around my heart and don't let anyone in to love me.
I've never really allowed anyone to break through and love me with the love that I deserve. Not God, my mom, Jose, no one. It really sucks, because I honestly don't know what it is to be truly loved. I've tried opening up, tearing my walls down, allowing God in. But sure enough, as soon as I open myself up, I am stabbed right in the heart by someone, causing me to close back up.
No wonder I have such a hard time with acceptance.
I don't know how/what to do to fix this. Guess it will take God & time.

Story of Robin

For some reason, I didn't get this when my Aunt sent it out the first time. But my Uncle told my mom about it today and sent it my direction. You all know how much I love my cousin, Robin. Well this is her mom speaking on Robin's life (or summing it up in 30 mins). It is very moving! I pray you take the time to listen to her story and allow God to touch you through it!

My Friend, Jen

I have a friend from Rodchester, NY that I met a little over 5 years ago on SheKnows (a board where a bunch of women chat about life issues. All of our babies were born in Dec '04).
Jen has been through some major obstacles, to say the least, in her life. She has ALWAYS been such an inspiration to me. Recently she started a journey of weight loss, which at this point, has gotten her 115 lighter than she was. She was featured in Democrat And Chronicle dot com...
Here is the Link: Jen Moore
I hope it inspires you as much as she has me!

Facebooking

So, I've realized how much I put on Facebook and I'm not posting it here. I am going to try really hard to pull everything over.
I can't seem to figure out how to post from my cell phone to my blogger account...If anyone can help me out on that, please let me know.
Thus the reason why I just put it on Facebook. But my blog is really missing out.
So, that's all...Drive-Thru...Good-Bye =)

Sports Orientation...My little boy is growing up =(

Didn't know how else to title this, but with what I'm gonna talk about.
Wednesday night Anthony & I went to the High School Sports Orientation. While it was pretty lame (due to the speaker they invited) it was kind of a sad/proud moment.
I sat with Kathleen's Mom (Ant's main squeeze's mom) and Linda Keck (Ant & her son Zach went to elementary school together). During the meeting I couldn't help but wander in thought about My Boy starting his new journey in life.
They showed pictures of kids who have achieved great things in their sports. One boy from Beaumont High now plays for the San Fransisco 49ers, another girl was presented an award...here is a blurb from the BHS sports website:
CHAMPION!!!

Junior Amanda Hendey has won the first state championship in Beaumont High School history. Amanda won the 126-lb. weight class at the girls' state wrestling championships at Hanford HS on Saturday by pinning her opponent in the 2nd period. Congratulations, Amanda! BHS is proud of you!

They spoke so much on the fact that they are very supportive of their athletes and want the best for them. How awesome to hear that? Especially from school staff!
After the speaker we were able to go meet the coaches. First was the football coach. I spoke to him regarding the rumors of the coaches not "allowing" the boys to play HS football and AYSO. He said that he would support Anthony, if that's what he wants to do, but wants Anthony at the practices and games. Which is understandable and already discussed to us with Lenny. Lenny (Ant's tournament soccer coach) is willing to allow Ant to practice with the football team during the week to get his conditioning and play him in the games on Saturday. Which is AWESOME! This is an awesome opportunity for Anthony to play both sports! OH, and the coaches to support him!
Next we went & spoke with the soccer coach (who just so happens to be the husband to Ant's old PE coach that kicked him out of her class. I think she had a crush on him & that's why she removed him, but whatever). He said that he wants Ant to only play soccer, not football. But that if he is skilled enough that he would work with him to play both sports. He is only taking 5 freshmen, so he will be holding try outs. He is going to have the boys go 1v1 to see their skills. Looking at the list, Ant will do really good up against the boys. We saw 2 boys that he would have good competition with.
After walking away, we were talking about GPA's and scholarships. Ant is stuck on "only needing to carry a 2.0 gpa". But if he wants a scholarship, he needs to focus on a 3.0 or higher. Which he is VERY capable of!
So, we are both really excited! I would LOVE to see my boy get a scholarship to college. He wants to go to USC, but God knows where he will be placed.
Looks like we are going to have our work cut out for us, but it will ALL be worth it in the end!
3 weeks of school left & my boy will be graduating from Jr. High!
Beaumont High School, Here We Come!

Look, she's praying

Last night we all sat down to eat and Delayna kept putting her head down on her hand on the table. We were trying to figure out what she was doing. We noticed she wasn't eating and kept doing this.
So, I announced, "Let's say our prayers so we can eat."
Jose said he would say them and again, she put her head down on her hands and kept her head down. He started praying and as he did, I watched her. She would pop her head up, look around and see we were still praying and then put her head back down.
My little girl is SO sweet. It blesses my heart to see that she is praying with us over dinner.

Wall*E Does It!

Dominic has got to be THEE cutest little boy I know! Seriously & not just because he is mine.
Today, Allan & Shelli came over to get a tile saw from my Honey. Dominic put on the movie Wall*E and Allan & I were talking about it. Allan had never seen it, so I was explaining the movie and the story line to him.
Later we go outside to get him the tile saw and Dominic finds a fire extinguisher we have in the garage. He is messing with it while I was helping Allan pull all the stuff surrounding the saw out. We both carry it to his truck, I turn around and I see Dominic holding this fire extinguisher in his hand trying to 'spray' it.
I asked him, "Mijo, what are you doing?"
He tells me, "I'm trying to spray it Mama."
Me~"Why do you want to spray it, it's dangerous and could make you sick or get in your eyes."
Dom~"Well Mama, Wall*E does it and he flies."
Me, trying to contain my exposure and not bust up laughing, "Dominic, Wall*E is a robot, he's in outer space and it's just a movie. You can't spray that and go flying."
Dom~"But Mama, Wall*E flies, I want to fly all around like him too."

After about 10 mins of repetitive explanation, he finally gave up the fight and said...
"Fine, you take it, you spray it, and you go flying by yourself!"
He's such a character!

My clothes aren't green & pokey

Yesterday I was taking the kiddos to school. After dropping the two big ones off, Dom asked me, "Mama, wanna play eye spy?"
Me: "Sure, you go first"
So we were playing along and it was my turn. I said, "I spy with my little eye something green and pokey." (referring to some palm trees)
Dom~"Those twees ovah dewr?" (referring to the pine trees)
Me~"No, but your close."
Dom~ Lifting up his sweat shirt looking at his tee shirt, "Mama, my clothes awen't gween & pokey."
He miss understood me saying "he was close" to "his clothes"!
LOLOLOL!!!

Joseph 1:9

I know, there isn't a scripture, or even a book of Joseph. But just read on...
Today while driving home from church, Dominic was talking to me about his class. He was kinda sad and said that there were only 3 kids in his class today. So I perked it up and started discussing what he learned in class today.
He began reading his paper...Be strong and have courage. The Lord is with you. Joseph 1:9
Isn't he the cutest!?!?! I am SO proud of how much his is learning and able to recite.
Well, back to Joseph. We told him that it is actually Joshua 1:9, not Joseph. He insisted and argued that "Ms. Bwidget" said that it is Joseph. So, we left it at that. Hey, what can I say, at least he can read and recite his bible verse, right!?!
He LOVES going to church, really he does! Today we had tournament for Ant in Rancho Cucamonga. We planned on having Jose go to church and I would take the kids out with me & he would meet up with us, if Ant went on. Dominic threw the biggest fit that he didn't want to go to soccer, he wanted to go to chuch with Gwammie. Of course God knew what he was doing and arrange our day accordingly. But it's too cute to see my little boy so in love with going to church every Sunday and seeing Ms. Bwidget and Ms. Kaffy.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Jose's brother, Mario has been fighting a 6 year battle of cancer. Jose's family called him on Wednesday morning to inform him that he is in the hospital with days left to live. My poor husband is simply devastated. I asked him to share his feelings with me last night and all he could say is, "I can't imagine never being able to see my brother again."
Even though we are over 2,200 miles apart, Mario was the only one out of the family that cared or desired a relationship to continue to grow with Jose. He is also the only one that ever liked me, or cared to have a relationship with me. Mario was truly a sweetheart, caring, loving and just a great person all around.
Jose is frantically trying to get his passport updated and plane tickets to get over there before Mario passes.
I am just praying that the Lord gives Jose peace, strength & an outpouring of love at this time.

Will you ride on your chariot?

Hmmm, where do I begin? I will start with last Tuesday when it all began...
We recieved a call from Johana (the lady working on our loan modification) she told me that Jose needs to call Tony over at GMAC to discuss our case.
That night Johana came over and met with us and we were able to call Tony up. Tony basically told us that our house was going into a trustee sale on Friday and we needed to come up with $6,000 to hold our house and get it out of the trustee sale auction. Obviously that wasn't something we could just pull out of our hats. Jose argued with Tony asking him why he can't just do the loan modification. Tony argued (he just was NOT a nice guy at all) that we failed the first loan modification that was set for us back in June of last year. Well, Mr. Tony is 100% wrong! WE did not fail the contract, they re-nigged on us! We signed notarized documents stating that our payment was going to be $1,230 a month. After we paid two months worth, they sent us a supplemental bill for $600. When we called and asked what the bill was and to find out why nothing was put towards our payments, they stated that THEY forgot to include our impound account and that our payments would actually be $1,830...WHAT!?!?! Our original was $2,200!
After arguing our points they explained they would send out another loan modification packet and see what they could do. So we submit everything, yada yada yada...
Tony doesn't want to admit that HIS company was wrong, not us! So Jose asked him if he could call him Wednesday morning to see what we could put out to keep our home from going into the trustee sale. Tony agreed and was totally fine with it. Johana was beside herself. I explained to her that God has it ALL in his hands and that His will, will be done. She couldn't believe how I stood in my faith. I looked her in her eyes and told her how I KNOW my God is a good God! He has brought Jose back from TJ when they wanted to deport him. How I talked to an Angel on the phone who gave me precise directions of what to do and how that saved him. I've seen God work in my life so many times, I can't now fall apart and not trust in him. As Johana stood in my door way with tears streaming down her face and listening to me tell her how I serve a God who will keep my family wrapped in his arms, she was just in a state of awe and fear. I told her, "Don't be scared for my family, God knows what he's doing". She commented to me, "Melissa, you say that you need motivation from me to get your business rolling, your faith is what is keeping my head up while walking out of your house with no answers." All I can say is, God knows what he's doing & nothing I do can change it...It can stop it & hinder it, but not change.
That night we gathered our children together to explain to them that God has us on a journey, we don't know what we are doing or where we are going, but he does. I asked them to open their hearts with Jose and I and to pray that HIS will will be done in this situation. That we would be sensitive to his voice and open a door to what he has for us.
~Wednesday comes and Jose calls, no answer, so he leaves a message. He calls again, no answer, leaves another message.
~Thursday comes, Jose calls again, still no answer & leaves yet another message. We are getting worried, so I call Johana up and let her know that we aren't getting an answer. She got on the phone and called GMAC. She spoke to a very polite woman who explained that Tony is out of the office for the remainder of the week. He left notes on our case that the company is to go forward with the trustee sale! WHAT THE HECK!?!?! Johana asks if there is anyone else we can talk to regarding the situation and the lady explained that if it's Tony's case, he's the only one allowed to handle it.
I talk to Johana, get her "worse case scenario". She told me that the trustee sales haven't been going through because the houses are still depreciated so much in Riverside County that when they go to sell them, they are asking more than what it's worth. She said we would be notified in 7-9 days whether the house was sold or not and we would have about 45 days to move.
~Friday morning~A very familiar face comes knocking at my door while I am home tending to my sick girls. Oh yes, on top of my house crashing I have Delayna who is sick vomiting and with diarrhea and Adriana who slammed a 5 lb weight on her pinky finger. My home is upside down!
Ms. Familiar face explains to me that my house is in a trustee sale auction and that her investor is down there waiting to place a bid on our house. If he takes it he will offer me "xxx" amount of dollars. I tell her I am sorry, but there is nothing I can do, I'm not the owner. She goes on to give me her spill, but I don't want to hear it. I call Johana up to tell her what happen and as I'm on the phone with her, I go outside to through a very dirty diaper and soiled clothes into a trash can and there is a HUGE truck sitting in my driveway looking at my house! I went off screaming & yelling. Johana told me to tell anyone that wants to offer me anything to give me $5,000 and 30 days to move. Well....no one ever came back until around 11:30am. I was up cleaning Delayna, from yet another accident. Someone knocked & I went to look out my window. It was a heating & electric guy, so I ignored it. Mom went out about 5 mins later and I hear Adi come running upstairs screaming, "Mom, look what's on our door!" It was a letter stating "3 DAYS TO QUIT".
Now my grandpa being a property owner & my mom managing, that sign was VERY familiar to me! We have WHAT!?! I was freaking out! I called up Jose to tell him & he just had no answers. Mom called Grandma to find out if they can do this and Grandpa told me to call the person on the paper. I called, but no answer, so I left a message. Monica was on her way over, so when she got here she had me call up the number on there again, this time I got an answer. "Fabby" explained to me that the 3 days is a scare tactic. She continued on to give me my options of what I can do next...
1~Take $1,200 and 3 weeks to move out with no damage to the home
2~Start an eviction process, which would give us 30-45 days
Now, from my property management past, I KNEW I didn't want to go into property management proceedings!
She told me she would give us the weekend to think it over and to call her on Monday with our choice.
I hung up and I was just flabbergasted! Not so much that we lost our home, because I know God is working, but more that we ONLY have 3 weeks!
I immediately felt anxiety strike! I kept talking to God, I wanted him to carry me through, but my flesh was SO week. The anxiety took me over. I began looking online for houses for rent. I had to think about packing, getting my family ready and a place for us to go. My stomach felt like a knife had been placed in it and twisted until all my guts were wrapped up in it and it was getting ready to be pulled out of me. I've commented that I felt like a drug addict, looking for my fix...I desperately needed to find my family a house. And one that we could ALL fit in to. Not only that, but I needed to stay in a budget. We can't do these $1,700 rentals.
I knew God needed to work on my behalf, because my flesh was failing me and fast! I continued to stand on his word & promises. Mishelle posted something on her facebook that really ministered to me and I claimed it for my family:

As Jehoshaphat stood and faced the battle of his life...his words to Our God was...."We know not what to do, but our eyes are fixed upon You." You may be facing the battle of your life today...fix your eyes upon Him and let Him fight the battle for You! 2 Chr 20:12

~Saturday came and Jose & Ant had their soccer tournament games. So in between watching games, I was running around opening doors (literally) searching for what God had for my family. We looked at a really nice house, 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath for $1,700. It was brand new, right around the corner from two of our pastors from church, great location. We hurried to put in our app & check for our credit check. Monica found one right next door and submitted her app. After a LONG draining day, we headed over to Eric & Jen Box's house for dinner with them and the Evangelistas. Boy, does God know where to place you in your time of need. If you are open to what he wants to put in you, he will fill you to the brim and give you overflow! We not only were fed physically that night, but we were fed spiritually and lifted up all day. Even at the soccer game, we had people from church come to the field and giveus words of encouragement.
Later in the afternoon Darci called me and told me that there was a house up for rent over by her. She gave me the number and I called, with no answer. So I left a message.
That night, we went home and went to bed. I felt an ease in my anxiety. Woke up in the middle of the night to a VERY sick vomiting baby. We tried to rest, but it was hard.
~Sunday, I woke up and had such a beautiful sweet peace. My grandma sent me something via email and I was emailing her back and forth. God talked to me and this is what was said through the emails:

“I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 NKJV

A storm on the Sea of Galilee was akin to a sumo wrestler’s belly flop in a kiddie pool. The northern valley acted like a wind tunnel, compressing and hosing squalls onto the lake. Waves as tall as ten feet were common . . .

[Yet] from the center of the storm, the unwavering Jesus shouts “I am.” Tall in the Trade Tower wreckage. Bold against the Galilean waves. ICU, battlefield, boardroom, prison cell or maternity ward—whatever you storm, “I am.”

I thanked Grama and had a word to tell her. Something God said directly to me in the midst of my storm:

I was anxiety stricken the first day, but after prayer & just being still, he told me...

"Take your day and mourn, cry, scream & let it out. But you and Jose go to bed tonight, I will give you peace that surpasses all understanding. You will wake up, dust yourself off and walk in my path. Exhaust all of your options and see I will open the door to your next journey."

It is SO hard to just not know. But I have had SO many people come up beside me and offer help, support, love, etc. God knows what we need and we will continue to be still and rest in His promises while we wait for a door to open.

Thank you for agreeing with us in prayer. I know God has a journey to take us on. I don't know what, but my spirit is kind of excited. He has GREAT things for my family and I praise Him while walking through the valley!

I was excited! My spirit was jumping for joy for some reason. He also told me, "You are not getting that house you applied for. I have something better for you."
My mom has been telling us that we need to find a house in the price range of $1,400-$1,500. Not 15-16. I kept telling her she's crazy, there's nothing out there!
We got ready for church and as we were getting ready, I called the number for the house over by Darci. The man only spoke spanish, so I tried in my reatarded spanish language to ask him about the house. After a few sentences, I figured it would be better if Jose talked to him. He got off the phone and told me that he has this 6 bedroom, 4 bath house up for rent for (WATCH THIS!...) $1,490! I was freaking out! We had to pounce this! The man told Jose that he was going to place it in the paper and have an open house on Wednesday. On Wednesday we can go down and do an application. it will be first come first serve type basis. There was NO way! I told Jose, he had to call him back and tell him we want this house NOW!
Well, Delayna threw up again. I wasn't going to allow this to continue, so I told Jose I was going to take her to Urgent Care. We got ready and had my mom take the kids to church. While in urgent care, God brought Kim Diaz & Noe to us again. Just a peace knowing these people are here by our side. While there Jose and I were able to talk about the house. He said when he got home that he would call the guy. After 3 hours in Urgent Care, to see the stupidest Dr ever, we went home with "just a stomach virus". We got a few more phone calls before we arrived at home, just as encouragement and to find out how Dee was doing. Come to find out PT got word about her and had the congregation pray for her. God knows doesn't he!?! In my opinion, with prayers being lifted up for my family, it wasn't just for Dee's little bdy, but our whole situation!
We got home and invited James & Gail over for lunch. After we ate, Jose went up to call the guy. I went up to check on Dee who woke up while he was on the phone. I stood there as he talked. He hung up and explained to me that the man wanted him to call him back Monday morning to discuss details and do credit checks.
~Monday...I was on pins & needles watching the clock for a phone call from Jose. I called to get Delayna in to her Dr, because once again, she threw up! So that kept me a bit occupied. Jose called me just before 11:30 to tell me that I have to fax "xyz" over to some person. the day went on and Jose called me again to tell me to go to the store, get a money order and be ready to meet him in Riverside so we can drive out to Downy to get the keys to our new home!
We went down and did all the paper work, mind you, we haven't even seen this house yet.
We just opened a door that we felt God lead us to (two doors were already slammed in our faces) but as we continued to knock, He opened this door to us!
We got back into town at 9:30pm. I called up Darci to ask her about electricity, she found us a flashlight.
She met us in our driveway, with the flashlight =)
I opened the door to the house and I began to see God's hand. Wood floors, a room for mom, with her OWN bathroom, dining area, HUGE kitchen, GREAT room with built in shelfing stuff...oh wait, what's this? Another room? NO, it's a THEATER! With real seats and cupholders, decor to match! Another full bath, laundry room the size of a kid's bedroom, with cupboards, awesome closet under the stairs...Oh, stairs and a HUGE mirror, turn the corner and go up the second flite, what is this? A LOFT!?!?! Like for my babies to have their own 'play area'!?!?!? The master suite, with gorgeous decor, the bathroom, HUGE! WHAT? This isn't just a walk in closet, this is another bedroom, this closet is MASSIVE! Down the hall, another bathroom with double sinks and a seperate shower, now my kids can all get ready in the morning! Linen closet that is huge, oh, and what's this behind the closet? WHAT? NO! GET OUT OF HERE!!!!! IT IS AN OFFICE WITH DOUBLE DESKS! Now tears are streaming down my face (you see, God told me my business was going to take off so much I had to get my own office, but in my house, there was no room. He's had a plan ALL along!). Room number 3, adorable for the girls! Room #4, oh this is nice, must be Ants, it sure is, because room #5 is PERFECT for Dom...I know what's being done in here.
I can't tell you how flabbergasted I am right now! I have A LOT of work ahead of me in these next 2 1/2 weeks. But God's had a plan ALL along!
Charlie taught at church last night and as I sat in awe of him (as I ALWAYS do, I think I can listen to him speak all day & not get tired of it) God gave Jose and I a revelation. See, all the testimonies that came out of church on Sunday, I was angry at God for "allowing" us to miss the outpouring of his spirit. But He had another plan, he didn't want us to recieve our fill in that manner, he gave it to us a different way. And last night, he revealed his hand upon us this whole time.
Charlie talked about the trials in our lives as chariots. He asked, will you jump on and ride with God or will you wrestle with him?
Jose and I chose to jump on, right away, fully! God took us down our paths, no it wasn't easy, and boy did it hurt. But, we went on our ride. Charlie also spoke on, "You never know." Quite a few times the subject of Jose and I buying this home came up, and last night we walked away with...You never know.
I posted this so that anyone reading this can see, I do serve a MIGHTY God! He is alive in me and active in my life. If you allow him, he can be just as active in your life. It's not to say we don't go through things, but if we choose to jump on the chariot and ride it out with him as the horse. Then we know where we are going is Good!
It is in the valleys that we grow. Hiding under the eagles wings, I will soar with Him, ALL of my days!
PRAISE GOD, It's all I have in me!

364 Days

Today my little girl is 364 days old...yes, tomorrow is her first birthday.
I can't believe that it has been a whole year since this little girl has been brought into our lives. She is SUCH a joy to have! There are so many things that we have been through this last year, too many to list right now, because she is screaming and want to go to bed.
I will try to do a 1 year post tomorrow. In the mean time, I will leave you with a pic of her in her dedication dress...

Delayna's Dedication

Well, in 2 Sundays, Jose and I have scheduled to dedicate Delayna. This is something that I honestly have struggled with for a year. To me, a dedication is taken seriously.
Merriam-Webster defines dedication as: 1. an act or rite of dedicating to a divine being 2. self-sacrificing devotion (amongst 2 other definitions).
In my heart, when I dedicated my other 3 children, I was standing in front of not only my church family, but ultimately God. I took a vow that I would trust Him with my precious children's lives. That NO MATTER what would happen, come our way, Jose and I would trust that He would take care of my children at all times. Now you tell me that you can put your children's lives in someones hands and just be ok with it.
So this time with Delayna, knowing she's my last baby, my precious jewel, I've battled with her dedication. Not that I don't trust God, in all his ways. Or that I don't want to believe that all will be ok, etc. I do trust him, I love him, and I know he will carry my children all the days of their lives...but it's just been hard.
So, Jose and I were talking and we decided it was time. We are doing it on the 24th, because, well, she'll be a year on the 20th and it's the following Sunday ;-)
I also struggled this time with having Godparents for her. I asked very special people that were in my lives with Anthony & Adriana to be their Godparents. Unfortunately through those experiences it damaged my thoughts of Godparents and ever being able to have someone in my children's lives that I could KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter what ever happened to Jose and I, that they would be there to raise them up under His laws, ways and love.
Well, through MUCH prayer, seeking & careful consideration. Jose and I agreed that we would give Delayna Godparents. I feel as though my children should have someone in their lives that they know they could ALWAYS, no matter what, turn to them and find Godly counsel (yes, there is a difference!). And family sometimes is just too close!
So, we approached Noe & Monica with the offer of being Delayna's Godparents. I can happily say, they accepted the responsibility. Monica even stated, that she would like to take all 4 under and be their Godparents too. So, we will see what God has in store for that.
I have also asked some very special people in my life, that through our lives have been by my side through thick and thin. I have been able to turn to them, cry on their shoulders, find comfort & refuge when I needed someone other than my family.
So I asked Allan & Angel, Jessica and Mona (awe,well Mona is another story) to stand with my family. Promising to be there for my baby girl, just as they have me. They all agreed to take the responsibility also.
Wow, what a day it is going to be!

Here is her GORGEOUS dress, she will be getting a little jacket type thing to wear with it. Her Granina & Tianina(that would be Monica's mom & sister...get it her Grandma+Nina=Granina, Tia+Nina=Tianina...LOL, I bust myself up sometimes!) is going crazy having finding her stuff!


And her little shoes


She is gonna be the queen of the ball!

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart

This is what I captured at 5:30am from my back yard...Pure & simple beauty!
God has been telling me for awhile to take the time to spend with him daily. Since I'm not much of a "New Years Resolution" girl, but more of one to set goals that I can attain, this was one goal I made for myself this year.
6am has been the "special hour" that I am to get up and seek him daily. Well this morning He had me up at 3 am. Since having Delayna, my sleep has not been good AT ALL! Well, recently she has finally been sleeping for blocks of hours. Jose and I went to sleep at 10pm last night & Delayna slept until 3 am. I patted her back to sleep, but my body was awake. So as I laid in bed, I just prayed over some situations that have been going on in my family. After a while, I fell back to sleep, but was awoken by my dear husband at 3:45, then Delayna at 4 am. After nursing her back to sleep, I decided to get up and take advantage of my body being awake. I got my coffee & toast and sat in my chair, bible, highlighter, pin & bible study in my lap as I began to pray.
Then I opened my bible study book up to begin the work after my chapters. My book is:
A Woman's Secret to a Balanced Life, focusing on the Proverbs 31 Woman. As I did the study guide, it took me to Proverbs 31:10-31. I read the passage & I was remembered of the first time I read it. I lived in my house on Orange Street. I was in my back yard with my mom and I had just discovered the passage. I can remember the feelings, thoughts, emotions I felt as it was revealed to me and I remember how deeply I wanted to be like that Proverbs 31 woman. Time went by and as I was brought back to it today my eyes were open to some things.
My book titles it "A Wife of Noble Character". It has you read the passage it asks you to list the qualities that made this wife excellent. So as I read, I listed...Comforter, Encourager, Provider, Nurturer, Loves, Hard Worker, Counselor, Strong, Dignified.
Then it asks, "What kind of choices has she made that make her worthy of praise?"
In my book, it has a footnote on vs. 29 & 30, where we find the answer to this question. Verses 29 & 30 states, "Many daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well, but you excel them all. Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain, but a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!"
My footnote states, "In what way did she "excel them all"? In her spiritual and practical devotion to God, which permeated every area and relationship of her life. Her secret, which is open to everyone, is the Holy Spirit's climax to the story, and to this book. In Prov. 31:30, it becomes clear that the "reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord", which is "the beginning of Wisdom" (Prov. 9:10), is put forth as the true foundation for a life which is valued by God and her husband as "far above rubies or pearls" (Prov. 31:10)
So am I a wife of noble character? No, I'm by no means meeting all of these expectations, but I see how my heart has been changed to live the exampled life. How I am striving to meet these goals.
Jeremiah 29:13 states: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"
So, as I begin my early mornings, my plan is to seek him with all my heart. This may not always be easy, but thru Him and in Him I find my strength. Knowing as the verse says, "seek with ALL your heart" I will find him.
Becoming that wife of noble character, the woman who can comfort, encourage, rise while it is yet night, preparing food & organizing her day, is a financial steward, has endurance for her daily tasks, quick to assist anyone in need, girding myself with strength (spiritually, mentally, and physically), opening my mouth with skillful and godly wisdom. Then my children will respect and bless me, as my husband will join in with boasts and praise.
I pray you have a blessed day and that the Lord reveals his grace and love in your life.

Keeping me on my toes!

Enough said...

We have made progress!!!

So, MOTS started back up today from an almost 2 month break. I was a little scared to take Delayna in, because before she just wouldn't stay.
Well, when I got there, Kindra was dropping of Gideon & he wasn't having a good morning either. Which made my emotions a bit better (you know when someone else is in your same shoes at the same time, it kinda helps). So I told the ladies about her little puppy & everything else that they may need to know about. Handed her over & walked out. I heard her fussing, so I let Talicia know that she has snacks & other stuff in her bag, that may help distract her. And off I went...
When the session was over I realized I went through the whole meeting without Talicia coming for me to get her.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, she made it through the whole meeting without me. The ladies said that she fussed for a bit, but that was it. I am SO happy she's finally coming around!
Just thought I would update...
(OH, I have been going crazy this past week! Busy as all get out...which is great, but man am I exhausted!!!)
K, that's all for now...TTYL!