Purity-a vow rarely taken

Adriana came to Jose and I about 3 weeks ago and told us about an experin e she had over the summer. 

Her friend took a Purity Vow. She admittedly was jealous of the ring the girl recieved during to ceremony and wanted one. But then she told us that she was convicted of the jealousy she held for this ring. She began to talk with God and ask him about Purity. What the purpose of taking a vow is, what his words says about abstinence, etc. 

She told us how God would give her scripture. She would look it up, take notes and allow him to speak to her through it all. She shared with Jose & I a few scriptures God gave her. Talk about WOW!!!!

She opened up about her fears and we were able to speak the word and life into her. She asked about some things that concerned her and again we were able to minister to her. In the end, after us talking she said she wanted to take a Purity Vow. Yeah, try to hold back the tears with that one! After crying for a minute, we discussed two options she has. 

One, to take the vow and make it personal between her Papa, God and I.

Two, to open up to her youth pastors and discuss the possibilities of doing this in front of the church. 

Adriana isn't one for attention (yeah, I am as shocked as you.) She really isn't one to seek out attention although she is loud and obnoxious. Hahaha

Well after some thought and discussion as to why we would like her to take the vow in front of the congregation, she agreed to. 

We went to Angel & Allan the following Friday and discussed everything. They of course are honored to do it and have already taken steps with our head Pastor, Todd. 

Prayerfully we will be able to do it on her birthday, November 3rd. 

Last week we were approached by Angel & Allan about having another girl join Adriana. What a blessing!  Knowing that MY DAUGHTER- OUR- opened a door for another young lady to take this vow is amazing!

God has always shown me, he has GREAT things for my children. Above and beyond I could ever dream or imagine. 

Since the days of our talk Adi has come to me with some personally but truly God Only Testimonies!  She is a teenage girl growing up in a dark and evil world. Sex is every where and accepted by so many. But my baby girl is going to stand out!  Like a seed that is placed into a dark, murky water. My girl is gowing to blossom and bloom like a beautiful Lotus Flower. Her beauty will outshine the dark waters and dirty muck!

So today, I bought her her ring. I've been looking for one with the scripture 1 Timothy 4:12- "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12 NIV)

I found it and in the exact ring style I wanted for a price I could afford!

Praise God!

I can't wait for the day her Papa and I stand with her and present her with this ring as a representation and symbol of an amazing vow she will take as God's Girl!

30 Days Of Thankfulness, Day 13

I wasn't able to get on here yesterday and blog or post.  I didn't put it onto facebook because I have more to say than what facebook will publish.  I figured I'd do a blog post instead.
Today I have to say I'm thankful for God.  Before you read it and think, "well isn't everyone?" just hear me out.
There have been many times in my life that I wonder, "am I where God wants me?  Am I doing what God wants me to do?  Am I in the position God wants me to be in?"  I don't always get an answer but I will live my life as though I feel God is directing me.  Seeking his word, keeping in constant communication with him (Don't get me wrong, I will be completely honest and transparent.  I don't spend time with Him in the morning like I should.  I don't get up and pray or study in the morning.  I don't pray alone or with my husband before I go to sleep, although I do with my younger children.  I do my study at night.).  I really do try to seek His direction for my life on a constant basis.
Well yesterday He showed himself to me in a mighty way (don't get nervous, God didn't show up in my living room and have a pow wow...Although that would be pretty cool!).  First off, it was a super busy morning and I had a lot to get done since I was down for two days with a migraine.  I knew I had to call and speak with my Pastor regarding the Thanksgiving outreach but the night before when I had texted him, he told me he had some things to discuss with me.  I wondered all night and really just wanted to know what he would want to talk with me about.  I love my Pastor and our relationship has grown this past six months but the last time he had something to talk to me about it was asking me if I would like to be the church's Event's Coordinator.  So this time I wasn't sure what was up his sleeve.  So I gave him a call and he was busy at the moment so he shot me a text to let me know he'd call me back...Cool.  He called me back and I was able to speak with him regarding some areas of the outreach I needed to talk to him about.  Then he let me know what he wanted to talk to me about.  I can't honestly tell you what he said.  I mean, I know what he said, I was listening, but it was almost as though God was opening my eyes to something.  Our church has been in a great trial for about 2 years now.  We have had a family loose their infant, many church members left, there was a division (obviously satan's hand was in that one!), financial strife to most recently people struck with cancer, families literally torn apart by those they trusted and did I say financial strife?  So much my Pastor's wife had to go back to work full time.  So as we spoke, I felt his heart, I KNOW how he is feeling, I'm there!  My heart is SO broken over everything going on.  PT started telling me about his plans for 2013 and what direction God is leading him in.  He basically was telling me, it's time to go back and take back what belongs to us!  We needed to rebuild our city and specifically our church!  We need to put aside our own "comfort" and step out to do what God is calling us to do, to allow our hearts break for what breaks His, to give a little more of ourselves and do whatever it takes to do it.
This all struck a cord with me.  I interrupted PT and had to share with him.  I've been seeking God's direction for the next study for my Jesus Girlz group.  I read a synopsis on Kelly Minter's book Nehemiah and REALLY wanted to get my girls into this study.  But God kept stopping me, literally!  He wouldn't let me do it.  I wasn't sure why, yet.  He was directing me to the study of Ruth by Kelly Minter.  No matter which direction I tried to go around it, Ruth is where he kept directing me.  So, Ruth it is!  I ordered the books and told God, "Lord, you know what you are doing.  Have your way.  Bring those that need this study to the study."  I now see why God didn't want me doing Nehemiah...YET!  He is going to take us into the new year studying Nehemiah.  Why?  Because it is lining up with what HE is going to do in our church.---seriously crying right now!---
Todd confirmed my thoughts as I was telling him this.  He is seeking a study out of the book of Nehemiah for our church.  God confirmed both of our directions in that moment (HA, PT and I had a moment...HAHAHAHA).  Anyways...WOW, how good is God!?!?!  I am where HE wants me!
Well my dears, that isn't the end of my day.  The night before I received a text message from my newest Jesus Girl, Michelle.  She wanted to let me know how excited she is for Friday.  I teased her asking her if she was excited for the next CIF game (she assist's the football coach and we are in CIF!  Another blog post I owe you all!).  Of course I knew what she was talking about.  Then I thought...How crazy is it that I met Michelle about 10 years ago.  She was a helper at the city after school day care that babysat Ant & Adi.  We have kept in touch, thanks to a small town and facebook.  Who knew that God would lead me to her to be her bible study leader.  That after 10 years she would be coming to my bible study...MINE!  I mean, I know I have my girls but it amazes me, truly it does!
Oh and that isn't all...I had another GF posting on facebook wanting to help out with the Thanksgiving Outreach.  We started instant messaging regarding some other stuff but this is how it turned:

• Jennifer
  

  
  

  Thank you. Was thinking this is what we BOTH need. God, answered us through you.
• Melissa
  

  
  

  Awe, your so sweet! You are the second person that has told me this week how God works to place people in others lives for a reason. Pretty cool!
• Jennifer

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  It's true Mel. God is mysterious, and revealing all in one. He puts us in each others lives to make it a better world. All people have to do is listen. Sorry...didn't mean to get all "religious" on you! Lol
• Melissa
  

  
  

  HaHa, I should be the one apologizing for getting religious! Ha Ha...really though, God has us all positioned for a reason. We may never know, we may find out years later. It's amazing the things God does in His timing. I just pray I can be used for His glory!
• Jennifer
  

  
  

  Amen Mel!

It is such a humbling thing to see how God is placing you and positioning you for HIS glory.  I don't know where this will take us.  I do pray God softens her heart and she joins me one Sunday at church.  But until them, I'm going to continue to be Melissa.  By the way, just to mention it...Jennifer and I met through me doing a Pampered Chef party for her.  So don't tell me God doesn't have me doing Pampered Chef for a reason!
To wrap this up, I just thank God for who He is.  For His grace, love, mercy, faithfulness...even when I'm not!
I'm going to leave you with a video of a song that struck me today while cleaning.  I heard it and thought, that would go good with my blog post!

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30 days of Thankfulness ~4 days behind

Well, with everything that happened, I just couldn't get on here and be the "happy Melissa" that I normally am.
Sure, I was thankful for all of my blessings, but like in my previous post How Do You Do It? I just couldn't understand how to function "as normal" when someone so close to me was hurting and dealing with, in my opinion, one of the worse tragedies anyone would ever have to deal with.
I was angry, confused, hurt, torn.
I went to church yesterday and Pastor Todd's message was so dead on! He let us know, it's okay to be angry at God and let him know your angry. It's okay to hurt and not understand. Basically all of my emotions were validated. It's okay for me to be feeling this way.
Tragedies are hard to deal with! We don't understand why things happen like they do. Why they happen when they do. Or how we are going to move on from where were at.
He shared an awesome message and I wish I could post it..Oh wait, let me see if I can..nope, no luck.
Anyhow, just wanted to let you know why I haven't been posting. I just felt as though i couldn't post anything. My heart was aching too deeply and the anger was beyond words.
So, look for tonight and I will finish the month's off.

30 days of Thankfulness ~Day 14

Today I am thankful for my church, church family & Pastor Todd!
Okay, so I'm posting this on Monday, I know, a day late, but it's still my day 14 thankfulness.
I have got to have one of the best Pastors EVER! Really! I was actually at McDonald's today with Jose and the 2 littles when we ran into one of Ant's old soccer coaches. We got to talking and he asked, "You guys are still going to Legacy, right?" We were like, "Of course!" The he started talking about Pastor Todd. He even referred to him as 'Pastor Todd' when he was talking about his team playing against Todd's soccer team. I thought that was funny.
Anyways, my church is such a loving church! We are growing by leaps and bounds. The greatest part about that is that we are able to reach out to the needy. We have a "new" ministry kicking up called Project 911. It's focus is to bring families back together and have children in a loving environment. As a child that was raised in a 'hard life' my heart is just so appreciative for what the Pedrozas are doing with their team. No, I'm not a part, right now, just because I really do have so much going on and I need to step back and allow God to show me what step I need to take, if any at this point in my life. Anyway, back to my church...
Pastor Todd really knows how to bring the word, and I never walk away from a service empty. We also have great associate pastors that are truly in tune with the Holy Spirit. Last week, P.T. was gone and Pastor Ken took over. I was told that first service last week was all Praise & Worship, that's awesome for our leaders to allow the spirit to move. And if it's moving and staying in P&W then so be it...sometimes, it's what our spirit needs!
Second service, P&W was awesome too, but then Pastor Terry came up and brought a word. Then Pastor Ken came up and brought a word. God truly ministered in both services, obviously.
This week, I went, not wanting to, because I was on day 3 of a MASSIVE migraine! I wanted to stay in bed, but I couldn't...It's just not me. I feel as though, if I can go to my kids' soccer games on Saturday and do other things, then God is definitely worth it.
Anyways, P.T. was talking about praying over our spouses, children, etc. Also claiming our blessings. God has been moving and shaking me and once again confirmed more things to me. But on top of that, Jose grabbed a hold of me and started to pray over me. Just like PT told us to do for each other. I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I know what he was praying over me for. We then went out for a bit, then back home. While I laid in bed later that afternoon, Jose was praying over again. After I woke up, I swear, my headache was gone and I felt like a new woman!
I praise god for giving Jose and I a church, church family and Pastor to teach us all that we have been taught. We have had people come up beside us and stand with us through some of the most troubling times. I love my family, undoubtedly, but my church family is probably closer to me than my blood.
Like the bible says, God will give us friends that stick closer to us than a brother. It's so true and I am overly thankful for my church!

I'm birthing

Not in a physical form, but spiritual.
God placed in my heart years ago to have a women's bible study. I thought about it, looked into it, talked about, but it never happened. I was kinda bummed & sad, but it was alright. My whole goal is to be in God's will, not mine.
So for the past few months, God's been speaking to me. I believed, but also wanted it in His time, not mine. I didn't want to do anything in "Melissa's" strength or timing.
As I thought, questioned, prayed, seeked, I learned that I also pushed God away. Told him no, too many times, let depression come in, self insecurities, etc.
I was also going through some things, which I now see were growing pains. Stuff that I thought at times I would walk away from the "church" as a whole. Not that I wanted to, but was pushed to so many limits in so many ways, I was DONE!
As I pushed through, God spoke to me. He met me where I was at, in the pain, depression, fear, self doubt. I went to two different services. One that Pastor Todd taught & one Pastor Mike taught, at the end there was an alter call at both. I was at my breaking point, let it all out and God met me. He spoke to me through a couple of people, people who had NO IDEA what i was going through.
He then whispered to me, "your going to start your bible study. I want you to step out and trust in me. Don't look to the left or the right. I will put it into play, just move forward and open it up."
So, I put it out there. I first started with opening my home and inviting some of the ladies in my life. That went so well that it was asked that I do it again. So I did, this time it doubled in size!
I asked them if they would be interested in doing the bible study and the response was surprisingly great.
At this point I have 5-6 women who plan on attending.
God lead me to do The Frazzled Female bible study. He spoke it to me, and then my friend Sandy confirmed it...
Beginning October 1st (which coinsidentally enough is a Friday) I will be starting my bible study.
It hit me while I was doing the dishes...I'm going to be doing a bible study out of my home. Something my heart has desired for such a long time!

The thoughts that run through my head

I had a whole other topic & blog in my head, but with such an emotional day, I've seem to have lost it all.
Well this morning didn't start out all that great. I was woken up at 7am by Miss Dee...Mama was NOT ready to wake up. I saw Jose go out the door & close it. I tried calling to him to take Delayna so I could get some more sleep, but he didn't hear me. Dominic did, so he climbed up into the bed and I told him to get the remote and turn on the t.v. for him & Dee to watch cartoons. They sat for a bit, but Dee crawled down and opened the door. I thought she was going downstairs with Jose. So I turned over and tried to catch a few more ZZZ's. A few minutes later Dominic wakes me up and says, "Mama, look at what Delayna did to your computer!"
I look down and this is what I see...


Oh My! Was I furious!!! I took it downstairs to show Jose. My mood was NOT what it should have been. Yes, she's a baby, yes she was left unattended, yes I know she's busy...BUT, I was still pissed!
So Jose took it and started working on it to attempt fixing it.
I headed to the kitchen to clean and burn some steam, then upstairs to get ready for church.
We left all of the kids home. Jose had a friend here that spent the night, Dee was too sick to go in the nursery & Adi watched her for us.
We got to church & honestly, I was not in the best of moods. Besides my computer being torn to shreds, Jose & I learned that Ant's friend that was over was stoned out of his gourd when he was here last night. We had a long talk on the way to church & were just besides ourselves in what to do, how to handle it and wondering if our son had any part in it.
We went in & kinda just sat by ourselves up front. I greeted a few people, but wasn't in the mood. My mom came in and I talked to her about it.
Service started & there were new songs. Not that it's a bad thing, but it's hard to get into a true worship mode when you don't know the songs. Finally they played one that I knew and I was able to kinda get there.
Well then Pastor Mike was introduced & came up. I've only heard him preach to the youth, but I've heard that when he preaches to the adults, he's FIRED UP! I was expecting to get a word, but some of my own feelings were blocking my attention. Mike felt it, not just with me of course, but with the whole congregation. He took a moment to pray for the heaviness to be lifted, for our focus to be on what God has for us, etc. By then I was able to open up to what God had.
He had us go to the story of God healing the paralytic. He talked about our own lives and how we are crippled with fear. And how we need to be like those friends of the paralytic who fought to get him to Jesus, no matter what/how. We need to be like that and fight to get to Jesus, no matter what it takes!
God has really been dealing with me regarding fear. It's something that I have been crippled with for YEARS! In So many areas of my life. But, not many people would know that. I make things look easy, I look comfortable, I look ok. But you can't see what's going on inside. How I fight to talk, walk, move forward. I'm afraid of what they'll say, think, feel, judge, condemn, pass judgement, turn me down, tell me "no", the list goes on forever!
God really spoke to me through Pastor Mike this morning! I don't have my notes in front of me & I'm so fried at this point, I can't & won't get everything on here that i want to.
But, God has been dealing with me regarding so many things! Fear, moving me forward into what He has for me, learning my self worth, learning the power I have in and through Him, Friendships (who and what), bringing me back to my first love, bringing me back to His love for others and the list goes on!
I went up to the alter and weeped like a baby out to my Heavenly Father (something else he's been dealing with me. you see, I never had a father/daddy to love me. So even turning to my Heavenly Father, it's a challenge!). But I felt as though something broke off of me. Then the longer I sat there crying out to Him, I felt something creep in and tell me, "Everyone is watching you. Who is wondering what your crying about. Your supposed to be a leader & your up here crying about fear? People are judging you." And as i felt it creep in, I hear Pastor Todd take the mic and say the following..."welcome conviction...rebuke condemnation"
WOW, Thank You My Heavenly Father! And as I welcomed the conviction of my actions and rebuked the condemnation that I was putting upon myself, i was able to open another door to my heart.
I can't tell you how long I was up there crying out to God, being prayed over, have life & words spoken into me. But I can tell you, my Heavenly Father did a work! My face was covered in black make up, snot wiped from my nose and onto my pants, eyes burning like I was in a chlorine bath & head pounding from so many emotions and thoughts running through my head. All not physically great, but spiritually AWESOME!
I have SO much I need to work on, starting with ME! I have so much pain to work through, focus to change and love to allow in.
I pray that I can take this daily to God and that i would be awakened daily with a spirit from God. Remembering to seek Him first & daily!!!!

Then this evening PT ministered to the Youth Group regarding spiritual purity. All I can say is, "WOW, did he read Ant's book!" He spoke some powerful words into my boys life. God has been using situations to allow us to feed into Him what God says, does and commands. But for Ant to hear it from our Pastor, I believe it hit his core. I have yet to talk with him one on one, but God is working & I choose to believe that we have been going through a season for a reason!
CHANGE IS COMING
Hmmm, just found this & it spoke everything i've been thinking...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lip2K4x2Mhg

Will you ride on your chariot?

Hmmm, where do I begin? I will start with last Tuesday when it all began...
We recieved a call from Johana (the lady working on our loan modification) she told me that Jose needs to call Tony over at GMAC to discuss our case.
That night Johana came over and met with us and we were able to call Tony up. Tony basically told us that our house was going into a trustee sale on Friday and we needed to come up with $6,000 to hold our house and get it out of the trustee sale auction. Obviously that wasn't something we could just pull out of our hats. Jose argued with Tony asking him why he can't just do the loan modification. Tony argued (he just was NOT a nice guy at all) that we failed the first loan modification that was set for us back in June of last year. Well, Mr. Tony is 100% wrong! WE did not fail the contract, they re-nigged on us! We signed notarized documents stating that our payment was going to be $1,230 a month. After we paid two months worth, they sent us a supplemental bill for $600. When we called and asked what the bill was and to find out why nothing was put towards our payments, they stated that THEY forgot to include our impound account and that our payments would actually be $1,830...WHAT!?!?! Our original was $2,200!
After arguing our points they explained they would send out another loan modification packet and see what they could do. So we submit everything, yada yada yada...
Tony doesn't want to admit that HIS company was wrong, not us! So Jose asked him if he could call him Wednesday morning to see what we could put out to keep our home from going into the trustee sale. Tony agreed and was totally fine with it. Johana was beside herself. I explained to her that God has it ALL in his hands and that His will, will be done. She couldn't believe how I stood in my faith. I looked her in her eyes and told her how I KNOW my God is a good God! He has brought Jose back from TJ when they wanted to deport him. How I talked to an Angel on the phone who gave me precise directions of what to do and how that saved him. I've seen God work in my life so many times, I can't now fall apart and not trust in him. As Johana stood in my door way with tears streaming down her face and listening to me tell her how I serve a God who will keep my family wrapped in his arms, she was just in a state of awe and fear. I told her, "Don't be scared for my family, God knows what he's doing". She commented to me, "Melissa, you say that you need motivation from me to get your business rolling, your faith is what is keeping my head up while walking out of your house with no answers." All I can say is, God knows what he's doing & nothing I do can change it...It can stop it & hinder it, but not change.
That night we gathered our children together to explain to them that God has us on a journey, we don't know what we are doing or where we are going, but he does. I asked them to open their hearts with Jose and I and to pray that HIS will will be done in this situation. That we would be sensitive to his voice and open a door to what he has for us.
~Wednesday comes and Jose calls, no answer, so he leaves a message. He calls again, no answer, leaves another message.
~Thursday comes, Jose calls again, still no answer & leaves yet another message. We are getting worried, so I call Johana up and let her know that we aren't getting an answer. She got on the phone and called GMAC. She spoke to a very polite woman who explained that Tony is out of the office for the remainder of the week. He left notes on our case that the company is to go forward with the trustee sale! WHAT THE HECK!?!?! Johana asks if there is anyone else we can talk to regarding the situation and the lady explained that if it's Tony's case, he's the only one allowed to handle it.
I talk to Johana, get her "worse case scenario". She told me that the trustee sales haven't been going through because the houses are still depreciated so much in Riverside County that when they go to sell them, they are asking more than what it's worth. She said we would be notified in 7-9 days whether the house was sold or not and we would have about 45 days to move.
~Friday morning~A very familiar face comes knocking at my door while I am home tending to my sick girls. Oh yes, on top of my house crashing I have Delayna who is sick vomiting and with diarrhea and Adriana who slammed a 5 lb weight on her pinky finger. My home is upside down!
Ms. Familiar face explains to me that my house is in a trustee sale auction and that her investor is down there waiting to place a bid on our house. If he takes it he will offer me "xxx" amount of dollars. I tell her I am sorry, but there is nothing I can do, I'm not the owner. She goes on to give me her spill, but I don't want to hear it. I call Johana up to tell her what happen and as I'm on the phone with her, I go outside to through a very dirty diaper and soiled clothes into a trash can and there is a HUGE truck sitting in my driveway looking at my house! I went off screaming & yelling. Johana told me to tell anyone that wants to offer me anything to give me $5,000 and 30 days to move. Well....no one ever came back until around 11:30am. I was up cleaning Delayna, from yet another accident. Someone knocked & I went to look out my window. It was a heating & electric guy, so I ignored it. Mom went out about 5 mins later and I hear Adi come running upstairs screaming, "Mom, look what's on our door!" It was a letter stating "3 DAYS TO QUIT".
Now my grandpa being a property owner & my mom managing, that sign was VERY familiar to me! We have WHAT!?! I was freaking out! I called up Jose to tell him & he just had no answers. Mom called Grandma to find out if they can do this and Grandpa told me to call the person on the paper. I called, but no answer, so I left a message. Monica was on her way over, so when she got here she had me call up the number on there again, this time I got an answer. "Fabby" explained to me that the 3 days is a scare tactic. She continued on to give me my options of what I can do next...
1~Take $1,200 and 3 weeks to move out with no damage to the home
2~Start an eviction process, which would give us 30-45 days
Now, from my property management past, I KNEW I didn't want to go into property management proceedings!
She told me she would give us the weekend to think it over and to call her on Monday with our choice.
I hung up and I was just flabbergasted! Not so much that we lost our home, because I know God is working, but more that we ONLY have 3 weeks!
I immediately felt anxiety strike! I kept talking to God, I wanted him to carry me through, but my flesh was SO week. The anxiety took me over. I began looking online for houses for rent. I had to think about packing, getting my family ready and a place for us to go. My stomach felt like a knife had been placed in it and twisted until all my guts were wrapped up in it and it was getting ready to be pulled out of me. I've commented that I felt like a drug addict, looking for my fix...I desperately needed to find my family a house. And one that we could ALL fit in to. Not only that, but I needed to stay in a budget. We can't do these $1,700 rentals.
I knew God needed to work on my behalf, because my flesh was failing me and fast! I continued to stand on his word & promises. Mishelle posted something on her facebook that really ministered to me and I claimed it for my family:

As Jehoshaphat stood and faced the battle of his life...his words to Our God was...."We know not what to do, but our eyes are fixed upon You." You may be facing the battle of your life today...fix your eyes upon Him and let Him fight the battle for You! 2 Chr 20:12

~Saturday came and Jose & Ant had their soccer tournament games. So in between watching games, I was running around opening doors (literally) searching for what God had for my family. We looked at a really nice house, 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath for $1,700. It was brand new, right around the corner from two of our pastors from church, great location. We hurried to put in our app & check for our credit check. Monica found one right next door and submitted her app. After a LONG draining day, we headed over to Eric & Jen Box's house for dinner with them and the Evangelistas. Boy, does God know where to place you in your time of need. If you are open to what he wants to put in you, he will fill you to the brim and give you overflow! We not only were fed physically that night, but we were fed spiritually and lifted up all day. Even at the soccer game, we had people from church come to the field and giveus words of encouragement.
Later in the afternoon Darci called me and told me that there was a house up for rent over by her. She gave me the number and I called, with no answer. So I left a message.
That night, we went home and went to bed. I felt an ease in my anxiety. Woke up in the middle of the night to a VERY sick vomiting baby. We tried to rest, but it was hard.
~Sunday, I woke up and had such a beautiful sweet peace. My grandma sent me something via email and I was emailing her back and forth. God talked to me and this is what was said through the emails:

“I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20 NKJV

A storm on the Sea of Galilee was akin to a sumo wrestler’s belly flop in a kiddie pool. The northern valley acted like a wind tunnel, compressing and hosing squalls onto the lake. Waves as tall as ten feet were common . . .

[Yet] from the center of the storm, the unwavering Jesus shouts “I am.” Tall in the Trade Tower wreckage. Bold against the Galilean waves. ICU, battlefield, boardroom, prison cell or maternity ward—whatever you storm, “I am.”

I thanked Grama and had a word to tell her. Something God said directly to me in the midst of my storm:

I was anxiety stricken the first day, but after prayer & just being still, he told me...

"Take your day and mourn, cry, scream & let it out. But you and Jose go to bed tonight, I will give you peace that surpasses all understanding. You will wake up, dust yourself off and walk in my path. Exhaust all of your options and see I will open the door to your next journey."

It is SO hard to just not know. But I have had SO many people come up beside me and offer help, support, love, etc. God knows what we need and we will continue to be still and rest in His promises while we wait for a door to open.

Thank you for agreeing with us in prayer. I know God has a journey to take us on. I don't know what, but my spirit is kind of excited. He has GREAT things for my family and I praise Him while walking through the valley!

I was excited! My spirit was jumping for joy for some reason. He also told me, "You are not getting that house you applied for. I have something better for you."
My mom has been telling us that we need to find a house in the price range of $1,400-$1,500. Not 15-16. I kept telling her she's crazy, there's nothing out there!
We got ready for church and as we were getting ready, I called the number for the house over by Darci. The man only spoke spanish, so I tried in my reatarded spanish language to ask him about the house. After a few sentences, I figured it would be better if Jose talked to him. He got off the phone and told me that he has this 6 bedroom, 4 bath house up for rent for (WATCH THIS!...) $1,490! I was freaking out! We had to pounce this! The man told Jose that he was going to place it in the paper and have an open house on Wednesday. On Wednesday we can go down and do an application. it will be first come first serve type basis. There was NO way! I told Jose, he had to call him back and tell him we want this house NOW!
Well, Delayna threw up again. I wasn't going to allow this to continue, so I told Jose I was going to take her to Urgent Care. We got ready and had my mom take the kids to church. While in urgent care, God brought Kim Diaz & Noe to us again. Just a peace knowing these people are here by our side. While there Jose and I were able to talk about the house. He said when he got home that he would call the guy. After 3 hours in Urgent Care, to see the stupidest Dr ever, we went home with "just a stomach virus". We got a few more phone calls before we arrived at home, just as encouragement and to find out how Dee was doing. Come to find out PT got word about her and had the congregation pray for her. God knows doesn't he!?! In my opinion, with prayers being lifted up for my family, it wasn't just for Dee's little bdy, but our whole situation!
We got home and invited James & Gail over for lunch. After we ate, Jose went up to call the guy. I went up to check on Dee who woke up while he was on the phone. I stood there as he talked. He hung up and explained to me that the man wanted him to call him back Monday morning to discuss details and do credit checks.
~Monday...I was on pins & needles watching the clock for a phone call from Jose. I called to get Delayna in to her Dr, because once again, she threw up! So that kept me a bit occupied. Jose called me just before 11:30 to tell me that I have to fax "xyz" over to some person. the day went on and Jose called me again to tell me to go to the store, get a money order and be ready to meet him in Riverside so we can drive out to Downy to get the keys to our new home!
We went down and did all the paper work, mind you, we haven't even seen this house yet.
We just opened a door that we felt God lead us to (two doors were already slammed in our faces) but as we continued to knock, He opened this door to us!
We got back into town at 9:30pm. I called up Darci to ask her about electricity, she found us a flashlight.
She met us in our driveway, with the flashlight =)
I opened the door to the house and I began to see God's hand. Wood floors, a room for mom, with her OWN bathroom, dining area, HUGE kitchen, GREAT room with built in shelfing stuff...oh wait, what's this? Another room? NO, it's a THEATER! With real seats and cupholders, decor to match! Another full bath, laundry room the size of a kid's bedroom, with cupboards, awesome closet under the stairs...Oh, stairs and a HUGE mirror, turn the corner and go up the second flite, what is this? A LOFT!?!?! Like for my babies to have their own 'play area'!?!?!? The master suite, with gorgeous decor, the bathroom, HUGE! WHAT? This isn't just a walk in closet, this is another bedroom, this closet is MASSIVE! Down the hall, another bathroom with double sinks and a seperate shower, now my kids can all get ready in the morning! Linen closet that is huge, oh, and what's this behind the closet? WHAT? NO! GET OUT OF HERE!!!!! IT IS AN OFFICE WITH DOUBLE DESKS! Now tears are streaming down my face (you see, God told me my business was going to take off so much I had to get my own office, but in my house, there was no room. He's had a plan ALL along!). Room number 3, adorable for the girls! Room #4, oh this is nice, must be Ants, it sure is, because room #5 is PERFECT for Dom...I know what's being done in here.
I can't tell you how flabbergasted I am right now! I have A LOT of work ahead of me in these next 2 1/2 weeks. But God's had a plan ALL along!
Charlie taught at church last night and as I sat in awe of him (as I ALWAYS do, I think I can listen to him speak all day & not get tired of it) God gave Jose and I a revelation. See, all the testimonies that came out of church on Sunday, I was angry at God for "allowing" us to miss the outpouring of his spirit. But He had another plan, he didn't want us to recieve our fill in that manner, he gave it to us a different way. And last night, he revealed his hand upon us this whole time.
Charlie talked about the trials in our lives as chariots. He asked, will you jump on and ride with God or will you wrestle with him?
Jose and I chose to jump on, right away, fully! God took us down our paths, no it wasn't easy, and boy did it hurt. But, we went on our ride. Charlie also spoke on, "You never know." Quite a few times the subject of Jose and I buying this home came up, and last night we walked away with...You never know.
I posted this so that anyone reading this can see, I do serve a MIGHTY God! He is alive in me and active in my life. If you allow him, he can be just as active in your life. It's not to say we don't go through things, but if we choose to jump on the chariot and ride it out with him as the horse. Then we know where we are going is Good!
It is in the valleys that we grow. Hiding under the eagles wings, I will soar with Him, ALL of my days!
PRAISE GOD, It's all I have in me!

What I'm Thankful For & My Warm Fuzzies

Tonight was my church's annual Candlelight Service. I was TRULY blessed by everyone there and their stories!
In particular Arlene's, Angel's, Noe's & Jessica's. I won't go into particulars about what they said, because it was dear to their hearts & shared with us in confidentiality.
I do want to focus on Angel & Jessica telling me how much they appreciate me and what I have done for them this year. As I reflect & was talking to God about it, He spoke to me and reminded me of something he taught me recently. I always say, "I just do what I do and am who I am. Not looking for any thanks or special appreciation." What God has revealed to me is that it's through HIM that I can do this. Being quiet & still, allowing me to hear what He has to say to me and being obedient in His will for what he has for me. It's in and through Him that I can touch these lives. In the same breath...when 'Melissa' tries to do it, whether in my own strength, thoughts or wants, that's when I fail, exhaust myself and don't accomplish what was sent out to do.
WOW, isn't God awesome!
It just reveals to me that through Him, I can do any & everything! That even though times get tough and I go through crap, as long as I turn to Him, I can still walk without growing weary. Serve and accomplish His will. Reach out and be used by Him...Hahahahaha, I am chuckling at the very thought that this vessel of doubt, insecurity, pain, whatever I think of myself, can still do His Works!
Then Noe got up and talked about who he appreciated. He then went to give his "warm/fuzzy". As he spoke, he said, "This gentleman (key word my friend!) has been placed in my life. I have gone through some times where I was a Joseph, but God has given me a Jonathan to turn to. That gentleman is, Jose Herrera". WOW, that's my husband. So I came home & looked up Joseph & Jonathan, what a blessing, is all I have to say!

So, tonight, I wanted to get up and honor a few people, but my thoughts just would not come together! Needless to say, I didn't get up & say anything, but I wanted to just take time to blog & express my appreciation about a few people in my life.
Before I do that, I must add...I do have the best church family EVER! They are closer than my own & I wouldn't have it any other way!
My Pastor & his wife are the BEST you could EVER come by! The light that they shine, the example that they set, I could go on & on! Pastor Todd & Mishelle,,,Thank You! Words couldn't describe what you two mean to my family & I!

First of all is, Robin. Where do I even begin? Robin has been such a role model to me through her life. No matter what she went through, she remained in her walk with the Lord. Declaring His promises, standing on His word & covering her family with prayer. She lived 30 FULL years & touched everyone she came in contact with. I even had people on my prayer chain telling me what she inspired in their lives. Robin, I love you for all you are, did & stood for!

Secondly is Kindra Crandell. Kindra has been one of those people in my life that (through the whole time of me knowing her) has been one to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. God has spoken to me numerous times through Kindra and has helped me on my journey of finding Melissa. She has allowed me to serve the Lord by serving his Princess' at MOTS, a position I DON'T take lightly. And encouraged me in many areas. Kindra, I thank you & am SO very grateful for you!

Last but not least is Monica...Even Monica! *that would be an inside joke ;-)* My warm/fuzzy goes out to you Mon!
I remember singing a song as a child, "What a friend we have in Jesus." When I think of Monica, I literally sing, "What a friend I have in Monica." Talk about sensitive to the spirit! This girl hasn't a clue that I am going through things in my life, but the spirit whispers to her and she acts on it. There have been days & times in my life this past year where I am DONE! Monica wouldn't have a clue of what I'm going through & I get a text or a call from her. She allows me to vent without judgement & condemnation. She encourages me in love, lifting me up.
God has really been putting me through the fire with my personality. Finding who I am, not only as Melissa, but who I am in Christ. If anyone knows, it's NOT easy! It hurts, tries, breaks, and everything else that's unpleasant. Well, Monica has been there for me through it all. Speaking life into me, encouraging me, telling me like it is but in love. I have 2 best friends in my life that I know I can turn to no matter what. I believe God has placed Monica in my life to be my third.
Monica, for ALL you are, all you do for me & my family, everything that you have stood with me through...I thank you & love you!

I pray everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving. Remember what this is all about! If it wasn't for God giving us His son, we would not be here.
Thank you my Father for your love, grace & mercy! It's beyond anything I could ever dream or imagine!

If you so feel, please share your Thanks with me!

WOAH, Gut Check Time!!!

Lately God has been dealing with me with my 'self worth' I guess you could say. Something I have ALWAYS dealt with. Just not feeling worthy enough for anyone, thing or body. He has been placing me into positions and places that I wouldn't normally place myself & if I was in it, I would run as fast as I could to get myself out of the 'situation'.
Well, this past month or so He has been placing me in situations that I have opened my heart to, stepped into and accomplished.
For example, something so simple & stupid (IMO)...
I am the Fundraiser Coordinator for AYSO (Soccer). I have no problems talking to people 1:1, but presenting something is a whole other ball game for me. For the past 2 years I have skidded out of presenting the Fundraiser Info at the Team Parent Meeting. Well this past week, not only did I show up for the Team Parent Meeting, but I stood up infront of who knows how many people and presented the fundraiser info. It was a little intimidating, considering I had about 4 friends out there that in the past I would have been afraid of them judging me. Not to mention, my Pastor & his wife...I know, they're just humans just like I am, but it's a little intimidating to me (just being transparent).
Well, in my opinion, I did one heck of a job presenting & getting the info out to the parents. I had a few trip ups, but I kept on going & enjoyed myself.

So, a few months ago, I was presented with the opportunity to become a table leader at my MOTS group. Not something that I had ever intended on doing, I'm just fine coming every other week and spending time with Godly women, fellowshipping, eating, praying, etc. But, I felt a nudge. So I contacted Kindra in regards to becoming a table leader...Come to find out, she was praying about me being one...WHAT, NO WAY! Now that was just a confirmation that God wanted me there.

Now this past Saturday, Monica informed me that there was a Leadership Meeting that Jose & I was supposed to attend. Well, I was all confused. Jose told me about it a while back, but I didn't hear anything else about it. Jose reminded me that Mick & Janie asked him that we both attend. So we changed our plans & went. Once again, Ken stated that not only him & his wife, Lisa, was praying about every person there at that meeting, but so was a couple more married couples regarding who they wanted trained up to be leaders in the church....WOW, God once again has told me that He wants me in this position.

One more...I have had a nudge to start leading a Women's Home Bible Study...Do I feel worthy? Nope! He has been telling me this for quite sometime now, but I shush Him and tell Him, NO! Who am I to "Shush" God??? How dare I! So, I stepped out and called Janie in regards to this...Once again, confirmation from her about it. I still have to sit with her and go over somethings, but I know God is positioning me...WOW!

Today, I checked my daily email & was reading my Proverbs 31 Encouragement For The Day... And, yes, again, another confirmation. Here's what it said...

27 Aug 2009

Lysa TerKeurst

"I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws." Psalm 119:30 (NIV)

As a little girl, I had longed for a daddy to pick me up, swing me around, and tell me I was lovely and loved. When this childhood longing went unmet, it became an adult emptiness and brokenness that drove me to seek out all kinds of misguided remedies.

My primary remedy was to look for someone or something that would make me feel loved and significant. It's as if I carried around a little heart-shaped cup and extended it to whatever or whomever I perceived might fill it.

I presented the cup to my education: "Will you fill me?"

I offered it to my husband: "Will you fill me?"

I held it out to my child: "Will you fill me?"

I extended it to my material possessions: "Will you fill me?"

I presented it to each of my jobs: "Will you fill me?"

Within these questions were many more entanglements: "Will you right all my wrongs?" "Will you fill up my insecurities?" "Will you make me feel significant?" The more I offered my emptiness hoping something could fill it, the more frustrated I felt.

And when I had grown in my faith, I was especially perplexed. Wasn't being a Christian supposed to fix these kinds of issues in my heart? What was I missing?

Have you ever been there?

Why is it so tempting to look to things of this world for fulfillment? This notion that worldly things can fulfill is all around us. It's on TV, the focus of countless secular songs, and it's what dominates American advertisements. I can't even stand in the grocery store checkout lane without being bombarded with suggestions for a more fulfilling life. A better husband. A better body. A better career. A more beautifully decorated house. The magazines seem so slick, their promises so enticing. They sneak into our thought processes and make us think, "If only I had _______________, I'd be so happy. I'd be so fulfilled."

So, we chase and chase until we bankrupt our relationships, our bank accounts, and our very souls. The reality is every single thing the world offers is temporary. No person, possession, profession, or position can ever fill the cup of a wounded, empty heart—not my heart, not your heart. It's an emptiness only God can fill.

Whatever "if only I had" statement we are struggling with, we can replace it with solid truths from Scripture that will never leave us empty. It's a bold statement to make and might even sound a bit trite, but it's true.

When God's Word gets inside of us, it becomes the new way we process life. It rearranges our thoughts, our motives, our needs, and our desires. Our soul was tailor made to be filled with God and His truth; therefore, it seeps into every part of us and fills us completely. It is the only perfect fit.

Dear Lord, we ask today that You set within us a passion for Your Word. A passion that will override the fleshly desire within us to chase after fulfillment from people, possessions, professions, or positions. Lord, help us place the highest importance on getting into Your Word every day. And may we always approach Your Word with a humility of need and a heart ready to receive all You want to teach us. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Visit Lysa TerKeurst's blog for a list of her favorite Bible Verses. This is just the jump start you need to get into God's Word each day.

If you connected with this devotion, you won't want to miss Lysa's upcoming book, Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl. To order your copy today, click here.

What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:
Fill in this blank: I've always thought, "If only I had _________________ I'd be happy and fulfilled.

Now, visit Lysa's blog for a list of Bible Verses to help replace this faulty script we play in our minds.

Reflections:
What or who have I tried to get fulfillment from?

How does this damage my relationships?

Power Verses:
Psalm 19:7a, "The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul." (NIV)

Psalm 27:10 -11a, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me your way O Lord; lead me in a straight path…" (NIV)

Psalm 45:1a, "My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king…" (NIV)

© 2009 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

You are subscribed as: jaamnherrera@aol.com

Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road, Matthews, NC 28105
877-P31-HOME (877-731-4663)

WOW, what a 'Gut Check'. Thank you Father for who you are in me! I praise you for your love & the fullness I can find, ONLY IN YOU! I praise you and give you ALL of the Glory!
I pray that I continue to seek your face daily and listen to your voice. That even though my life is hectic that I continually see the work you are completing in me. In Jesus name...Amen


PS, school updates are coming, I just needed to get this out...My schedule & life has me running at the moment, but I will catch up!

Quotable Sunday

Today at church, Pastor Todd spoke on "Making Time For What Matters Most".
So I am going to do my quotes on 'Time'.
Here is one he shared with us...

"Time invested on improving yourself is less time wasted dissapproving others!"

Here are the ones that really stuck out to me...

"Procrastination is the thief of time." ~Edward Young

"Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can't buy more hours. Scientists can't invent new minutes. And you can't save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow." ~Denis Waitley

"Time is the most precious element of human existence. The successful person knows how to put energy into time and how to draw success from time. " ~Denis Waitley

"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. " ~Carl Sandburg

So what are you doing with your time?

Here we go again...

And I'm not talking the song from Whitesnake.
Oh no! I'm talking about my poor boy.
Dominic was perfectly fine yesterday, playing with Celine & Shellianna for hours. Then last night around 1am, he came into my room with a fever. So I laid him into bed with me, until Jose got home from his meeting.
Jose got home around 1:30am & put Dominic into his bed.
Around 6 am, Dominic came in & said that he needed to go potty, so I told him to go. He came back crying and saying, "Mama, I just pee'd on the floor." I consoled him, telling him it was ok that I would clean it later & pulled him into bed with Jose & I.
We woke up late at 9am. We were hurrying to get ready for church. Jose got into the shower & I got Dominic up to get him in with him.
When I pulled his chones off, I noticed there was reddish stuff on them. I took him to Jose & told Jose about it. I then remembered what Dominic said about peeing on the floor.
I turned around & saw blood all over my bathroom!
I thought I was going to be sick. Not because of it being as disgusting as it was, but because ALL of that came out of my boy!
I went & told my mom and of course she was spazzing & called my Aunt Cheryl, who wasn't home.
I decided to call Urgent Care and see when we can get him in. They told me to take him in at 10:45am. My mom took the older two kids to church & I got ready.
Jose, Delayna, Dominic & I all headed over to Urgent Care. It was a quick wait.
They called us back & I went to do a urine sample. When Dominic went pee, his urine was the darkest deepest red I've ever seen come out of a body. Not to mention the smell. It was horrendous!
The Dr came in fairly quickly & was boggled by everything. It was the same Dr we saw the first time this all started. He even remembered us. I took him through everything that we have been through since seeing him last.
He really didn't know what to do for him or what was going on with him. He stated that boys and especially boys at Dominic's age rarely get bladder or kidney infections. He stated, it isn't impossible, but it's extremely rare. He decided to refer us to a Urologist and put Dominic on an antibiotic.

I am just at a loss right now. I've been doing whatever I can to keep my mind occupied. I couldn't eat for hours this morning, just hurting so much over all of this being such a mystery. My heart hurts, I'm struck with fear of the unknown, I am at a loss and the list goes on!

After calling Urgent Care, I called Glenda to start praying & put Dominic on the prayer chain. Within minutes I had people calling & texting me words of hope, strength & speaking life into my boy.
God knows what we need, because I was really broken.
Then when the kids got home, they told me that Mishelle was praying during praise & worship for Dominic, Jose & I. Then Pastor Todd prayed for us all also.
To know that my family is loved so much & cared for really helps me in my time of need.
I've always felt that I have to be "the bigger" person and that crying & breaking is a sign of weakness.
In a way, I feel as though this is God's way of working this out of me. I've prayed for a long time that the Lord would break the walls around my heart. I feel like this is doing it.
Thank you all for your love & support!
Just because I want to remember, I am posting a pic of the bathroom.
WARNING~IT IS GRAPHIC!

Quotable Sunday

K, I can't go to bed before doing my "Quotable Sunday" post...
Today I have chose to do quotes on Faith. Pastor Todd has been teaching on Faith these past two weeks & I just feel like doing it on faith =)

Faith is not belief. Belief is passive. Faith is active.
~Edith Hamilton

You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.
~Samuel Butler

He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend,
loses much more, He who loses faith, loses all.                                          
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Take the first step in faith.
You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Faith isn't the ability to believe long and far into the misty future.
It's  simply taking God at His Word and taking the
next step.
~ Robert Schuller

Without faith a man can do nothing; with it all things are possible.
~ Dr. Robert Schuller

Faith is reacting positively to a negative situation.
~ Sir William Osler

Faith is no irresponsible shot in the dark.
It is a responsible trust in God, who knows the desires
of your hearts, the dreams you are given, and the goals you have set.
He will guide your paths right.
~ Joni Erickson Tada

For more Quotable Sunday visit:

I serve an Amazing God!

Now I know everyone will say, "Yeah, I know." But man, He has really been revealing himself to me lately.
It all started while I was pregnant with Delayna. He was telling me to trust in Him. I thought I always did, but He showed me where I was lacking. He showed me through his blessing for Delayna that, that is exactly how He wanted to bless my family as a whole. I just needed to trust in Him with EVERYTHING!
As time has been going on, I have noticed my husband growing, tremendously! I didn't understand everything as to why I was feeling the way that I was spiritually, but it was revealed to me this weekend, that He was pulling me back, to bring Jose forward. See, I always felt that "I had to 'push' Jose to get involved & apply himself."
What was revealed to me though, was that God is doing the work, I just have to trust in Him!
While I was sick with the pregnancy, healing after a deliver and caring for a colicy baby during bible study nights. Jose was able to go, alone. Learn, listen, be taught & grow the way that God wanted him to be able to.

Every year our church has it's Easter Outreach. We have been part of this for 4 years. Our first time at our church was exactly 1 week before Easter & we were hooked!
Last year was awesome! Jose and I teamed up and were the leaders for the Food Ministry & what a blessing it was to be able to feed these people and know we had a part! Even then Jose was "just going to church". Just after this time, is when he really started applying himself to the word & getting in depth.
This year as we were gearing ourselves up for the Easter Outreach, Jose and I were talking about how awesome it was last year & how excited we were this year. Knowing all of the blessings we have been given and to be able to do the work of God, reaching only God knows how many lives is beyond words.
Then Pastor announced his plans for this years outreach. Come to find out, our church is teaming up with Canaan Assembly of God Church and Pastor De La Cruz. Our church thought it was awesome (I can't speak for my church family members or my Pastor. I don't know how close to the heart it hit), but for Jose and I, it meant so much more.
You see, Jose and I met when I was attending Canaan as a teenager. I started going there when I was about 13 years old. Pasor De La Cruz was my pastor & her family was very special to mine. I babysat for her daughter, Liz. My mom was close to her daughter, Tina. I went to the outside services they had in the summers, youth, Disneyland. I have MANY memories growing up in Canaan. *Like the time I babysat for Liz & I had to make chicken for the kids for dinner. I made what I thought was fried chicken, but luckily Liz came home in time to find that it in fact was undercooked fried chicken! Or the time I went to Disneyland. Jeanette, myself & another girl were in a store. The other two went out when I was still inside browsing. They called me to look at a boy outside. I walked passed the security alarms & was accused of stealing...NOT a good thing when your there with your church!*
Anyways, back to the story at hand...
Jose started attending church with me while we were still dating. I got pregnant in March of 1995, just 7 mos after my 16th birthday. The day I found out I was pregnant was awesome, but I knew what I was doing was a sin. I vowed to God that I would obstain from sexual immorality with Jose until we were married. I also prayed and asked God, that if Jose was the man for me, then I wanted Jose to convert to Christianity and accept God as his savior & vow to follow Him.
We planned our wedding. During the planning, I was blessed with my first blessing, Anthony Jose Herrera. Pastor De La Cruz told us that she would not marry us, unless we got counseling, from her. I of course agreed, but it was Jose that I was worried about. He still hadn't converted & didn't have plans to. But, he wanted to marry me. So I told him that I wanted my Pastor to marry me, and for it to happen, she would have to counsel us. He eventually agreed. Pastor De La Cruz counseled us for a month, while we continued to plan for our wedding. She opened my eyes to many things and to this day I thank her for the time she took with Jose and I to guide us into a God appointed marriage. I shared with her my "pact" I made with God. I also told her that I wouldn't marry Jose unless he accepted Christ as his savior (Jose never knew this. I still don't know if he does). Well, one week to the day before our wedding was set, Canaan had a Saturday Service (I don't remember exactly why or what). But that night, Jose went up to the alter & gave his life to God. It was then that God showed me that Jose is my husband.
We were married a week later.
Jose and I continued to go to church there for a while. I can honestly say that I was really growing close to God for a while & during that time God gave me a vision for Jose and I.
Well, time went on. We walked away & lived a life away from God for a while.
During the 8 years that we were out of Canaan & before Legacy, we attended another church. Nothing special. We were never really involved. We just went I guess you could say to go. The church is a great church and is a symbol in the community, but it was just too big & we got lost in the crowd. Not to mention, Jose has always been on the quiet, keep to himself end of the stick.
So, back to Legacy...
After Pastor Todd announced that we would be teaming up with Canaan, Jose and I were estatic! We thought, how cool is this going to be!?! A church that we began our journey in & the church that we have planted our roots in & are raising our children in, are coming together for the greatest outreach we have annually.
Then as I began to ponder, God brought back to my memory the vision He gave me 11-12 years ago.
That vision was Jose and I reaching out to our "old friends", the gang bangers that we hung with, the partiers, the lost, hurting, rejected. Those who 'hang' on the East Side of Banning. Jose and I were going to be bringing those people into the kingdom & showing them the love of God.
When God gave that vision to me, it was SO REAL! But at the same time, I knew Jose & thought, "No way would he ever do something like that for 'the church'".
Well guess what...all this time that he has been taking in getting to know God in a more personal way. Everytime he goes to pray for someone at church and walks back to me with tears in his eyes. Everytime I call him when he's supposed to be home and he's off talking to Mick, Noe or whoever else from the church about a passage in the bible he didn't understand. Everytime he is late for dinner or misses a soccer game because his friend needed him to talk to & just be there to show them that someone cares.
God is building MY MAN up, so that WE can fullfill the vision God has on our lives!
I am sitting here in my bed, while Jose is sleeping next to me. He has his new bible next to him and I know he is only going to grow deeper.
I am blessed to call him my husband and stand next to him this coming up weekend. We will stand strong together before it and love on God's people during it!
Jose and I have been praying for many of our friends for many years! When God revealed the vision to me & I shared it with Jose this time around, we both had certain people in our minds that we want to see give their lives to Christ.
I am blessed to say that 2 weeks before Easter, My best friends for over 20 years started attending church. They are teaming up with us this Saturday in the kitchen and we will be loving on the people together.
God gave us the vision, He is building us up to fullfill it and is giving us victory to prove it!
I serve an Amazing God!
Here is a song that Jose has been driving me crazy with lately (I'm not gonna lie. I love my husband, but the man can not keep a beat, tune, nothing). It's an awesome song & I just felt it fitted perfectly on my entry for tonight....


I'm sorry if this was choppy, but I was blogging while putting Delayna to sleep.
I pray that you are blessed & that you can have the love of the Lord in your life, as I have. I pray He reveals his mercy in your life. He is ALL we need! Live in His Freedom! Rest in Him!