My heart for my son

A Mother’s love is something
that no one can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,

It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .

It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .

It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .

It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .

A many splendored miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God’s tender guiding hand.

Purity-a vow rarely taken

Adriana came to Jose and I about 3 weeks ago and told us about an experin e she had over the summer. 

Her friend took a Purity Vow. She admittedly was jealous of the ring the girl recieved during to ceremony and wanted one. But then she told us that she was convicted of the jealousy she held for this ring. She began to talk with God and ask him about Purity. What the purpose of taking a vow is, what his words says about abstinence, etc. 

She told us how God would give her scripture. She would look it up, take notes and allow him to speak to her through it all. She shared with Jose & I a few scriptures God gave her. Talk about WOW!!!!

She opened up about her fears and we were able to speak the word and life into her. She asked about some things that concerned her and again we were able to minister to her. In the end, after us talking she said she wanted to take a Purity Vow. Yeah, try to hold back the tears with that one! After crying for a minute, we discussed two options she has. 

One, to take the vow and make it personal between her Papa, God and I.

Two, to open up to her youth pastors and discuss the possibilities of doing this in front of the church. 

Adriana isn't one for attention (yeah, I am as shocked as you.) She really isn't one to seek out attention although she is loud and obnoxious. Hahaha

Well after some thought and discussion as to why we would like her to take the vow in front of the congregation, she agreed to. 

We went to Angel & Allan the following Friday and discussed everything. They of course are honored to do it and have already taken steps with our head Pastor, Todd. 

Prayerfully we will be able to do it on her birthday, November 3rd. 

Last week we were approached by Angel & Allan about having another girl join Adriana. What a blessing!  Knowing that MY DAUGHTER- OUR- opened a door for another young lady to take this vow is amazing!

God has always shown me, he has GREAT things for my children. Above and beyond I could ever dream or imagine. 

Since the days of our talk Adi has come to me with some personally but truly God Only Testimonies!  She is a teenage girl growing up in a dark and evil world. Sex is every where and accepted by so many. But my baby girl is going to stand out!  Like a seed that is placed into a dark, murky water. My girl is gowing to blossom and bloom like a beautiful Lotus Flower. Her beauty will outshine the dark waters and dirty muck!

So today, I bought her her ring. I've been looking for one with the scripture 1 Timothy 4:12- "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12 NIV)

I found it and in the exact ring style I wanted for a price I could afford!

Praise God!

I can't wait for the day her Papa and I stand with her and present her with this ring as a representation and symbol of an amazing vow she will take as God's Girl!

I'm going to be picking up apples

Ant came home tonight and asked us, "what do you guys think of me getting a job at Rio Ranch?  It'll be seasonal. I'll be picking up apples and helping keep things clean. Shane Aunt is head of hiring and they are looking for HS students."

Jose told him, "Mijo, I really don't think your going to want to work there."

Ant replied, "Pa, it's only weekends from 9:30-5 and I get paid $10 an hour."

Jose responded, "but why would you want to work at a grocery store for only a few days a week?"

Ant replied, "Not Rio Ranch the grocery store, Los Rios Ranch in Oak Glen."

Oh my gosh, I about dies laughing!!!!

I was quiet trying to hear Ant out but was trying to wrap my brain around why he would be working at a store and could only clean up the apples. Then, how is a total white girl head over hiring a crew who predominately speak Spanish (I can kind of understand that as I am a white bilingual woman). 

I couldn't fathom his whole job would to be picking up apples, I mean what if cilantro fell on the floor. He'd ask someone else to pick it up?  

Oh it was too funny!!!!!

Anyways, we will see where this leads. I will be praying for God's will. I know he has been wanting to work for a while now. It may be good for him. I'll keep posted. As well with some more family updates. 

Good one God, you got me!

I've been studying Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst. It's teaching me how NOT to become unglued in stressful situations and how to handle it "God's Way."

Not easy for a hot head like me!

This week I've been struggling doing my study. I have a lot going on and honestly can't seem to focus (even now my mind is racing a mile a minute and I'm Multi-taking). This morning I woke up at 5:30 and sat on the couch reading my study while Jose was on the phone. 

Dominic and Delayna both woke up early and Delayna was in quite the grouchy mood. Struggling to deal with her, enjoy my coffee and read some things were hitting me in the book. 

The morning went on and I took the older ones to school. Traffic at the HS is beyond ridiculous!  Sitting in the turning lane to turn left into the school, it's my turn and I slowly erk forward (because only God knows how dangerous it is, even when it's your turn to go). Well sure enough I pull out and Ant yells, "watch it Mom!"  The suburban to the left of me in a right turn only lane pulls out going left and I almost run into him. I slam on the brake and horn and of course yell at his stupid @$$. Oh yes I did, I became UNGLUED!!!  Along with the other parents in the cars watching the idiot. 

Then I drop the kids off and am now in the right hand lane going to leave the school. The left hand lane is backed up as usual and I go to drive off when a little black Honda in the left lane pulls right in front of me. What the heck!?!?  So I throw my hands up in my car like, "What the heck!?!?"  I follow the car, well we seem to be going the same way. Until we reach the stop sign where I went left and she went straight. I was NOT happy and planned on letting her know when she pulled up next to me at the stop sign. 

So I'm sitting there and look over to give her the evil eye. She pulls up with the biggest smile, waving. It's then I realize...It's my friend Lisa!

Gah, I couldn't help but laugh and shout..."You Got Me God!"

It's not easy to deal with situations the way God wants us to. But if we allow HIM to control us we can do it. I will admit, I have a HOT temper and fly off the handle at the drop of a dime. I'm trying and as life's pressures keep getting tossed my direction I'm learning to have the spirit and attitude God intended me to have. It was never his intention for humans to be angry, hateful, nor ticking time bombs. 

His way will prevail one way or another. I guess this was his little reminder to me this morning. 

Here's to a better day!!!

Daniel Fast 2013-thoughts and encouragement

Just wanted to share and send some encouraging words. I remember doing the fast last year and everyone talking about how God is revealing Himself to them. How they are "growing" and learning. I was pretty envious and wondered if I was going to feel this way. No, I didn't.
Then this year I went into the fast and didn't know what to expect, what God was going to do, where I was going to be led. But one night during my bible study I read, "we need to be willing to be willing." I told Fod at that moment that I am willing to be willing for His works! Honestly, I always worry what I'm going to go through or what He's going to have me do. Well so far there has been nothing great or grand. I am seeing Jose in his days watching him lean on our Father as we are going through horrible withdraws (I blogged about that one!) and he is growing before my eyes in our Father's strength. I kind of started feeling down and questioning God. Wondering what I'm doing wrong. Well, this my friends is what he told me:
"There are four common categories of toxic thoughts. These are negative, fearful, discontented, and critical. Chances are you are struggling with toxic thoughts in one or more of these four ways. Don't let these toxic thoughts grab hold of you and consume you. The deeper you let them take root inside you, the harder they will be to shake off. Identify those thoughts and reject them today.

Which types of toxic thoughts do you experience most often? What are some examples of your toxic thoughts?"
I am letting those thoughts toy with me. Let me encourage you, if Satan has come and made you question why you are doing this fast, what your getting out of it, etc. KNOW, it's the enemy trying to come in and make you question. Stand strong. God may not use you in the way you think or you expect him to. Just being there to speak life into someone or encourage them is a sign that God IS USING YOU!
Take those thoughts captive and stand on His word!
Huge Hugs from Me!

Daniel Fast 2013

Jose and I are on our Daniel Fast again this year.  Last year we really enjoyed it. Our relationship as husband and wife grew tremendously, the relationship with our kids and most importantly the relationship with God.  We were really excited to start it again this year.
Well, I said and always stand by my honesty.  And being totally honest, we are struggling!  Jose's body has been having horrible withdraws and not feeling good at all. He has been suffering with a headache since starting.  He was driving home yesterday having horrible hunger pains.  He came home and told me the story of what happened when he was driving home.  Pretty cool!  I've been feeling horrible.  I'm exhausted and just feeling very sluggish, having dizzy spells, body aches, sinus feel icky.  Could be lack of caffeine, although I don't drink a lot.  Could be food withdrawals. I could be coming down with this cold all the kids have had.  Who knows but I don't like it at all!

Yesterday when I was just feeling blah, I had a "wow moment".  I realized that my body is detoxing (you should have seen how many times I tried spelling that.  Even my brain and figures aren't working!) of all the junk I put in to it.  That my body is addicted to some of that stuff like it's a drug.  I've seen my mom go through withdrawals, they aren't fun!  I have very vivid memories of my mom coming off of things and her body going into shock from it.  I can somewhat sympathize with someone withdrawing now and would see why they would throw in the towel and say "forget this"!  But, I remember why I'm doing this.  It isn't about me and my flesh, this is about God and His plans.  Not only for my life, my kids' lives but others that I impact.  Others who watch me and are inspired by me.  Others who think, "I can't do this, it's too much" and then just by chance (or I like to believe it's a Holy Spirit Intervention) they run into me or my writings and read this.  Let this be an encouragement that YOU CAN DO THIS!

Jose was talking to me about his experience last night when he was coming home from work and was literally starving.  He felt horrible and was having horrible hunger pains.  He had thoughts running through his head and maybe it was the Holy Spirit that prompted me to send him a "sneak peak" at his dinner.  But he said the Holy Spirit spoke to him and told him, "Jose, these are just small hunger pains you are going through.  Can you imagine the pain Jesus went through for you?  Your pains are minuet compared to the sacrifice Jesus made.  Remember why you are doing this, it's to grow closer to Him."

WOW!  So true!  I've been watching others in my church going through the Daniel Fast also post on facebook or my Pastor's messages he's been posting.  They are really great encouragements.  But what Jose said last night gave me another WOW moment and brought it all into a perspective for me.

We must remember why we are doing this.  I made a plan before I started and wrote down why, who, what.  Why I'm doing it, Who I'm doing it for and What I want to get out of it.  Take a moment to do one for yourself.  When you get tired or weary, go back to your plan and remember why your doing it.

There is NO giving up, NO turning back, NO shortcuts!  Think of it as a woman in labor, because believe you me, we are birthing something!
#whateverittakes

30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 2

Day 2~ It seems everyone is on the same page with Day 2. I've been thinking and I'm going along with everyone else!

Jose & I supporting our #1 Football Player

I'm beyond grateful for my Honey! He is my Yin to my Yang, my calm to my storm, my #1 supporter, my soul mate, my better half, the spiritual leader of our family, our prayer warrior, an awesome Papa to our 4 blessings, a VERY hard worker that allows me to stay home to care for our 

blessings. My husband is everything and more! I thank you Jose Herrera for all you are and all you do. Our paths met when I was 12 years old. Our story has an AMAZING testimony that will touch lives we may never know. But God knew what he was doing when He placed us in that trailer park. I praise Him for you. I couldn't ask for anyone better. I love you more today than ever! ♥

30 Days of Thankfulness, Day 1

Day 1~ I'm am BEYOND grateful to be blessed and have the privilege of being a stay at home mommy. With all my sick babies this week, I haven't had to worry or fret over one of them being home alone or with someone else caring for them. I get to treat them to yummy food being served on the dinner table that I know what is in it, who prepared it and that it's healthy. I am able to be at 90% of their games and be their #1 cheerleader. I am an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, personal ... I may not be anything to you but I am EVERYTHING to someone.

KFGHDGP&*(p8UFRE4WIOJRVNGU7&*(uio

YUP, that's about how I'm feeling right now!  I won't go into details, because my life doesn't always need to be put on public display.  But I'll just say...same 'ol crappy ola with my mutha.
But, my computer did some updatey thing and shut down and restarted.  When it restarted, it was loading facebook and it happened to stop on someone's status update that I follow.  Delayna was messing around and so I hit the little thing that stops her from moving the mouse.
Man, God knows what He's doing...ALL.THE.TIME!
Because I read this and it was exactly what I needed!  I am worn out and exhausted and this really hit home!

"I pray in Jesus' name, may you fight the temptation to engage in relational battles that drain your strength, trying to prove your point or win your way or defend yourself. I pray you let your Lord be your defense. I pray you will never again get caught in the trap of blame of bitterness. May our God give you the wisdom to know what to fight for, for those your love, and how to fight in a way that brings blessings and breakthroughs to all of your relationships. In Jesus' Name, Amen" ~ Taken from Freedom for His Princess by Sheri Rose Shepherd

Day 5 of my 21 Day Daniel Fast

I have been really wanting to blog about the Daniel Fast I started on the 1st of January.  But 1-I've been too busy to be on the computer and 2 I haven't really known what to blog about. 
Sure, I can blog my prayers, struggles, praise reports, but I guess I just haven't been able to pu my thoughts into words.  I have a some things I wanted to put on today, just for rememberance.
Yesterday, I made the kids potatoes and ham per their request.  I figured, since Jose was out of town (or so I thought) I would just make extra potatoes for myself and some soyrizzo on the side to go with it.  I was kind of excited for the potatoes, something yummy, comforting and fried :)  I didn't expect to have any issues...
Du Du Du  Yup it was coming!
I warmed the kids up their ham and MAN, I wanted to devour it!  Especially the fat!  I had to move myself to the counter next to Oscar's bowl and dump the trimmimgs off into the bowl.  I made it threw and my dinner was very scrumdiddleyumptious, but it wasn't easy.

Now today has been challenging today also.  I was faced with a ghost from the past.  Thank God for friendship, because without me being able to reach out to my friend (not someone who will tickle your ear, someone who will tell you like it is and put you in yuy place!)
She talked me down and gave me revelation.  Thanks Jen!
I did okay with food.  I ate really well all day.  I made the kids spaghetti for dinner and Jose & I a yummy soup.  I had Adi make most of the dinner.  I went in the kitchen to check on her (I was getting ready for my PC TRNG) she had the pasta sitting in the pot of water.  Um HELLO!?!?!  She said she didn't know if it was done or not.  So I automatically took the spaghetti fork and pulled 3 noodles from the pot and popped them in my mouth.  After I chewed them, I realized what I did and yelled, "Oh my gosh, I just ate pasta!"  Ha Ha!
But, it made me realize the nindless things we do, just out of habit or routine.  I want to be more concious of things I do.  It can't be a good thing to be living life so mindlessly.  Which takes me to ny scripture I was reading tonight (because I skipped my morning read & had to play catch up.  But, God knew what He was doing.  I wouldn't have had this scripture hit me after the circumstances from the day)
So we are reading Proverbs for the mont of January, through my church & bible study.  Today was obviously Proverbs 5.  I almost highlighted the whole chapter it was that good.
Of course the program I use won't let me copy and add my notes, so I'll try later.  But I wanted to just jour down a free things for the day :)

Woah Buddy!

Just found a pic of me at about 225lbs.  I can't believe where I was and where I am today!

Here is a pic I just figured out how to merge from ^there^ to now...

Jesus Made...

Delayna and I were driving to Wal-mart earlier after dropping the kids off at school and she tells me...
D- "Mama, guess what."
Me- "What?"
D- "Jesus made the twees."
Me-"Yes He did.  Aren't they pretty?"
D-"MM HMM"

D-"Mama, guess what else."
Me- "What baby?"
D-"Jesus made the back yard."
Me-"He did.  So you can play in it, huh?"
D-"Yup"

D-"Mama, guess what else Jesus made."
Me-"What baby?"
D-"The flowers."
Me-"He did, didn't he?  And he made them beautiful!"
D-"MM HMM"

Me-"Delayna, guess what else Jesus made beautiful."
D-"What?"
Me-"YOU!"
D-"No He didn't.  He made me pwetty."

Then we went through the whole family and close friends.  I love this little girl!

Halloween 2011

After many different plan changes...my brother, sister in law, my nephews (Mark, Dakota & Devin) and niece by law, Jess all came over.
We went out here in our housing track.  We had a blast!!!!  Devin normally isn't into it, but he had a great time.  Delayna loved every second of it and literally ran house to house.  She was sooooooo cute!
Jose took the big wagon out to pull the kids when they got tired.  But Ant & Jose ended up taking turns laying in it and chasing after kids scaring them.  It was hillarious!
Heres some pics...

There's a snake in my boots!

A couple of weeks ago I was rushing around trying to get ready for a party I had that night and I had to go and pick up Anthony from football practice.
When I went there to get him, he was no where to be seen, wouldn't answer his text or phone calls.  I was pissed and freaking out.  I called Jose for him to call Ant.
He finally got ahold of him and told him to get to me now.
When he got in the truck, he was giddy laughing about a snake that he caught and was chasing his friends with.
Delayna shouted out, "Bobo Anty, there's a snake in your boots?"
I started chuckling, even through my anger.  So once she heard me laughing, she started feeding off of it.
She then said, "Bobo, there's a snake in your butt!"
After that, Ant and I just busted into laughing.
Through all the anger, frustration and the nerves geting to me, it's the little thing that made us bust a gut!  And of course, leave it to Delayna and Anthony, my two little clowns to get me into a better mood.

My New Necklace

So this isn't the best picture, but I didn't even think of taking a pic until now.
This is my new necklace, it may not be anything grand looking, but it's the story behind it.
I picked up Dominic from school today and as we got out of the truck and go into the house he told me, "Mama, I had such a good day today, I was able to pick a prize from the prize box."
I replied, "you did?"
He said, "yup"
Then he held out his hand and said, "this is what I picked, it's a present for you." He opened his little hand and inside was this green necklace.
After thanking him and smothering him in hugs and kisses, I decided I would revolve my whole outfit for my show tonight to match my new necklace.
So I wore my green bracelet & earrings and my green apron.
When I got home from my party, he was in bed, but came running out with Devin and the first thing he asked me was,
"Mama, how did everyone at your party like your necklace!?!"
Isn't he the sweetest!?! He is my precious little boy!

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Pool Party @ Amber's House

Just on a side note, it cracks me up when someone says "pool party at 'so & so's house' because Ants soccer friends allways say "pool party at Marcies house!". Well Marcies is the hang out spot because his mom likes to keep an eye on them, but Marcie doesn't have a pool! LOL!
So anyway, today was the first pool party I've ever been to. Amber had an end of school year party. It was so much fun to get away from my house & relax, well maybe not relax, but hang out at the pool with the kiddos. She bbq'd and had chips, dip & fruit. It was so much fun & nice!
Amber has been such a blessing in my life! We are kindred spirits & have so much in common.
Anywhoot, I'll leave ya with some fun pics from the day.

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Back to the inhaler we go

My poor little girl has been coughing until she gags every night, during the night and in the morning.  I noticed that she did it when running around with her brother or friends also.  So, I took her into the Dr. today who said that it most likely is her allergies and asthma acting up =(
She put her on Zyrtec and both of her inhalers Qvar and Albuterol.  My poor baby, I hate having her on these meds, it scares me!  My 'step-dad' passed away from his asthma issues and it just is scary.
It was a crazy busy day, no particular reason, just was.  Then I was planning on going to Yucaipa to drop off a bible study book and some PC orders, but laid down at 2pm and passed out until 3:58!  GUESS I WAS TIRED!
Got up and made a very yummy dinner (maybe I'll blog it tomorrow).  Adi had practice and I had to get to the store for some essentials, we had absolutely no fruit, except for 1 banana. Mama needs her fruits & veggies!!!
Went to Albertsons and got some great deals, spent under $50 for 4 pkgs of chicken, 4 boxes of cereal, 2 pineapples, 8 cucumbers, 2 bottles of coffee creamer, chips and some other things.  Not Bad if I do say so myself =)  Then to Walmart to get the other stuff.
Got home and realized I forgot Dee's medicine..DUH MELISSA!  Guess I need more than just a 2 hour nap when I'm not getting enough sleep for my brain to function, egh?
We are down to 2 days left of the school year.  I'm kind of excited, kind of sad.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE having my babies home, the lazy days of summer and just enjoying each other.  Most moms can't wait for their kids to go back to get out of their hair, but I really do love having them home with me.  I don't like the not having a schedule and routine, but whatev.
Alrighty, so I'm outta here, I'm going to try to get some good sleep and maybe blog tomorrow when I have some brain power!
The Sleepy Mama

Bible Study #4...Coffee Hour With Chicklit Power by Evinda Lepins

I had to come and share my most amazing encounter lately.  I posted it on facebook and I'm just going to transfer everything here.

So, after much prayer and seeking the Lord in the direction that He wants me, I have finally recieved confirmation on the summer study.I have to give you the story behind it all, just so you can all see how good God is...You all knew I was praying regarding the bible study.  I wanted to do something light, but deep, something that we wouldn't have as much work and time devoted to the study, but yet something that would keep us in the word on a daily basis.  Keeping us connected to God and keeping our relationship built up.  Some of you came to me with suggestions, but nothing was 'it'.  Well, I had the opportunity to meet a woman name Kim.  She came to my MOT's group last year and shared her testimony as well as some of her information & book.  I was fortunate enough to have her at my table and I was able to spend some time with her and share my life testimony with her.  We've kept contact and she recently visited MOT's again.  She brought her products this time and I purchased her book.  Now, unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to read any of her book, but I did glance at it.  Something kept telling me that I should use this for the summer bible study.  Now being that it's not in a bible study format, I kept pushing the 'idea' out of my head.  WELLLLLL, last Friday, I jumped onto Facebook while I was outside looking for something for dinner.  I noticed that Kim invited me into her group.  So, I accepted the invite, but didn't have a chance to really look at it.  Later that afternoon Jose and I were in the garage and I went to her page on my phone.  The first thing I saw was the following..."Okay, so I'm really giving some serious thought to something because I keep getting this question from complete strangers: "Does CPM have a women's Bible Study?" So, let's put it out there. Would anyone be interested in a once-a-month Bible Study using our "Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power, A Cup of Encouragement for the Day" book? There's some great series in there. Let us know:)"OMG...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?!  So I replied the following:"Hey Evinda Lepins, this is awesome!!! I will be wrapping up my M2C bible study next week and I have been praying about doing a summer bible study. I have had your book next to my bed and it's been taunting me to use it for the summer bible study (HONESTLY!!!). But I didn't know, because it's not in a format that I could figure out.  So, I brought the subject to the table at my bible study today. We will be meeting every other week. I want something light & not too deep. And a book that we can get our hands on now. Then I saw your post on this. I would LOVE to be your "guinea pig" and use your book as our bible study!!! Let's talk about it. I would like to start June 10th. You can either message me here or contact me on my cell phone. I will be in San Diego for soccer tournaments this weekend, but I will get with you!!! LET'S DO IT!"
Personally, I don't believe in coinsidence...As Kim aka Evinda told me, "absolute GOD things".  So, not only do we have a bible study and one that we can get our hands on right away, BUT...ARE YOU READY FOR THE KICKER!?!?!?!Kim aka Evinda (btw, that's her author name) is going to be joininig us on Friday for our Luau and will be selling the books, signing our books and explaining the bible study to us!!!How freaking cool is it that God confirmed this the way that he can only do and we not only have an amazing bible study set up for the summer, BUT...WE GET TO MEET THE AUTHOR IN PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ACK!  HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!  Come on, how often have you met an author of a published book?Okay, I'll settle down now.  I just can't tell you how amazing God is and how hard it's been to keep this cat in the bag.  It's been clawing at me all week!  And, being with Amber all weekend, had the book on me and I couldn't share with her!  It killed!!!So, I hope you all are as excited as I am!

Follow up to that...We met this past Friday and I can't tell you the excitement my girls had!  I actually have one girl that declined the summer bible study, but after hearing Evinda's story and what we believe God is going to do, she decided to join!

God is good & is giving us favor.  On July 22nd we will be wrapping up the next bible study called, Loving the Unlovable.  The next day, Evinda will be having her CPM's One Year Anniversary Party...guess who will be there with a testimony of her book becoming a bible study!?!?!  YEAH, The Jesus Girlz...HA HA HA HA!!!  AMAZING, SIMPLY AMAZING!  I can't wait to see what God is going to do, the break throughs that I am praying to happen, the walls to be taken apart one brick at a time. 

I will keep ya'll updated!

 

Bible Study Follow Up

Back in September I wrote I'm Birthing and shared what God told me to do and move forward in His will for my life.  Well, here I am, 8 months, 4 bible studies and 12 precious souls later.
That's right, I've completed 3 bible studies (Frazzled Female, Victoriously Frazzled & Made To Crave).  I'm currently starting a new study out of the book, Coffee Hour With Chicklit Power  by the name of  'Balance of the Mind, Body & Soul'.
I honestly didn't think that I would have gotten this far in this ministry, but man, when you step out and allow God to step in, you NEVER know what is going to happen!!!
The only regret that I have is that I didn't blog more frequently about the things that I was going through as long as what the study was doing for me.  Especially this last one, Made To Crave.  Oh man has it jacked me up in a good way!  I am on a journey of learning to love myself, accept myself, take time for myself and learn that I AM MADE FOR MORE!
I'm currently focusing on my health, eating, physical activity (yes, exercising will be a part of it, as soon as my body is aligned with God's healing power!  I'm crippled with a horrible sciatica nerve that just recently got messed up again down at the San Diego tournament.  It hurts in places I didn't think your back would effect.  But anywho).  I have a few people in my life, including my 73 year old Gramma that has successfully lost significant amounts of weight by using the BodyBugg.  After doing who knows how many different diets, "life changes", trying this & that, I decided that I would do something that has shown effectiveness in the lives of real people around me (including my Gramma).  So, Melissa bought herself a Mother's Day present.  Oh yes, I went and bought myself a BodyBugg.  I have been on the 'program' for 3 weeks now, and even though I haven't lost a significant amount of weight (due to this bodybugg, I've learned that I am physically active without working out.  I can easily burn over 2,500 calories a day just by being me and doing my daily chores/running around/taking care of kids & house.  My biggest problem when I'm focused on my eating is that I don't eat enough.  I'm lucky if I get in 1,400 calories a day sometimes.  Therefor my metabolism shuts down and thus the reasoning for not losing.).  But it's not the numbers on the scale for me anymore, it's feeling content in who I am, knowing that I made better choices that day for myself and no one else. That if I did have a slip up, there is always tomorrow to make it right.  And that putting God first in all I do means more than devouring those Oreo's with a big 'ol glass of ice cold milk!
Yeah, I've come a ways from where I was regarding my weight, but even further in where I am in my walk with the Lord.
I'm really going to try hard to blog daily.  The new bible study that we are starting requires us to journal.  And my way of journaling is on my blog.  I do have many journals that I've kept notes in for my bible studies, but they get tossed to the side.  Here allows me to look up by subject, dates, etc to see where I was, what I was going through, etc.
I pray that whomever reads this is blessed & can see God's hand at work.  It is all Him & I am utterly overwhelmed and humbled that He would use a broken little girl to reach the lives of those that I'm reaching.  I don't know where this journey is going to take me, but I do know that as long as I seek Him first, it will be successful...

Frustration

So I'm sitting in Gus' with my family. Jose ordered the burger & fry family pack and a chicken salad for me. They brought the burgers & fries out and I am sitting here having the hardest time not grabbing a few fries & dredging them in ranch. Ugh this sucks!!!!
My salad is here and it's fried chicken tenders on top with bacon. I want to devour it! And dredge it in ranch.
I didn't though. I served myself a fourth of the salad & threw a few forks of ranch on.
Jose asked me what was wrong, he could see the frustration on my face. This is so not easy, but it will be worth it.
I want to cry I'm so irritated :(

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