A glimpse into my whirlwind

I have been an emotional boob lately!  Trying to keep everything going on straight while staying a float and my head above water.  So this is everything going on and I will break it down...

~Anthony's Senior Year Activities & Planning
~Jazzercise Training & Audition
~Relay For Life
~Jose's new adventure
~Bible Study
~Mom...That is an ENTIRE blog post for itself!
~My new job and endevour
~Life in general (Kids, Home, Church)

Anthony's senior year activities: He has Prom coming up, Senior Awards, Grad Night, Senior Trip, Senior Dinner and then Graduation (Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa).  This is all happening between now and June 4th.  I still need to get his pictures done, announcements done and I'm planning his graduation party.  I am super excited but then I have my moments I can't believe my baby is graduating.  I know, some people think I'm over dramatic or whatever but this is my baby!  I was 17 when I had him.  I have moments that I look at him and am in awe that he is MINE!  God blessed me with this kid.  There are moments I want to strangle him and smack the crud out of him so he can realize the dumb things he is doing.  But all in all he is a good kid.  I want to give him an amazing senior year and graduation party.  He deserves it!

Jazzercise: I received an email last night and started BAWLING!  I am truly in disbelief that I am doing this.  Yes, I've had my ups and downs with it.  But this past week I met and trained with Tana and Jamie.  The feedback and encouragement really helped.  I feel like I am going to do this!  No more trying, I've got this!  When I read the email, I sent Jamie a message to make sure she received it also.  Not to put Jamie on the spot but this meant a LOT to me!  This was our convo: 
Friday

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  3/28, 7:09pm
  

  Melissa Herrera
  

  
  

  
  

  I received an email from Holly and wanted to make sure you received it as well. Let me know. If you didn't I can forward it on.
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  3/28, 9:34pm
  

  Jamie Carrillo
  

  
  

  
  

  Yes I got it too!!! I'm excited.. We got this whoop whoop
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  3/28, 9:36pm
  

  Melissa Herrera
  

  
  

  
  

  I seriously started crying. I can't believe this is happening!
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  3/28, 9:38pm
  

  Jamie Carrillo
  

  
  

  
  

  I know!!!! We are going to kick butt!!! I'm so glad we get to do this together..
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  3/28, 9:42pm
  

  Melissa Herrera
  

  
  

  
  

  Me too! You have been a true inspiration to me! Now I'm crying again!
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  3/28, 9:46pm
  

  Jamie Carrillo
  

  
  

  
  

  Good tears I hope really Melissa I am really happy to have you there I was starting to think I was going to be by myself... I try to remember that when 2 or more are gathered together God will hear our prayers.. and Girl this is a test if faith!!!
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  3/28, 9:50pm
  

  Melissa Herrera
  

  
  

  
  

  They are tears of disbelief. Never believing I could ever be capable of something this amazing. I'm truly blessed to have you by my side also. You inspire me, push me and challenge me. It was rough last year when everyone dropped and I was alone. I felt defeated and beat. I'm not one to give up though and vowed to give it my all this year, no matter what! God provided an amazing partner in you and he is opening doors for us both. What doesn't kill us makes us Stronger!
• I was terrified about the money situation but God is opening doors. I guess this is my time. I'm terrified, excited, anxious, feeling of doubt at times. But I know, If God Is For Me Then WHO Can Be Against Me? Yes, it does pertain to Jazzercise too! So, to make an official announcement...June 13th is my OFFICIAL Audition Date!!! That is 9 days after Anthony's graduation. Too imagine us both making a HUGE step together is awesome!!

Relay For Life: WOW, LOTS GOING ON!!! I have a Bunco night scheduled, need to start planning the decor of my booth. Get everyone signed up and situated. T-Shirts ordered, raffle prizes, and the list goes on! As of right now, I'm pretty much doing this all on my own. I held a Jazzercise Benefit Class last week and we raised a little over $700! I was very excited about that!  

We will be next to AYSO this year, which I am excited about. I've taken myself out of the organization as a board member and haven't had too much connection with them for a few years. But with new people and some who are friends, I'm excited to see us come together and enjoy each other's company for Relay. It's always a special time for me!

Jose's New Adventure: He will be enrolling in school and getting his Contractor's License. We are both very excited. I believe this is the direction God has been leading Jose for a while. His heart has always been to own his own business, I guess God just had to allow us to learn some life lessons before getting to where we are and allowing us to start our own business. I truly can't wait until we have everything done and can say "We own our own business". BUT in the same hand it terrifies me with the responsibility of owning. I know I must trust God.

Bible Study: is going good. It has dwindled and I'm seeking God if this is where he wants me and wants me doing. I stopped for a few months to situate life. We just started back up and as excited as I am to get into the word and do this study, I'm questioning myself. It could be me. But I also want to be in the will of God. I don't want to do anything, especially a bible study, out of flesh. I want it to be God. I want to be led by His spirit. I want Him to use me. I'm really praying and seeking God. I have my next study I want to do and I'm really trying to allow Him to lead me. I guess we shall see after this study where He leads me.

Mom: well, she had her knee replacement surgery done on her right leg. She is in a convalescent hospital now recovering and doing physical therapy. I don't want to get too much into detail but if you are reading this, be in prayer! There are some big decisions my brother and I ultimately have to make. Again, I need God to show me which direction to go, what steps to take and what actions need to be done. Like I said, this can be an entire blog post dedicated to her. BUT there are some sensitive things that don't need to be out for everyone to see. Those who need to know, know.

My new job/en devour: HEE HEE! SO, I am super stoked and haven't told too many people because I am kind of taken back by the whole thing. BUUUUUTTT, sometime after Relay I will be head of Sales & Marketing for a local company. I don't want to put the name out there as of now, because I don't want to cross any lines with my new "boss". But I am UBBER STOKED to take on this new position. I have been praying and asking God to give me an avenue that I can start making good money (Pampered Chef is good, if I keep consistent. I've been having issues with keeping a consistent calendar). Well, a door opened up last year and I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I sat down with her in February and we discussed some details and the job in depth. I accepted the position but let her know I can't take it on until after Relay. It just takes too much out of me. She was/is ok with that. So after Relay we will be sitting down and transitioning me into my new position. Of course, I'm nervous about that also. Finding a daily routine, focusing time to my new position along with the rest of life, making sure I get everything else done that needs to be done, etc.  

Things were said while we were speaking that confirmed this is a path God has ordained and is taking me down. We both shared some things that confirmed God in this on both ends. It's going to be a change but once everything is situated and I'm in a routine it will all be a breeze that will eventually turn into some growing challenges. But it will be good!  

This is a job that is truly too good to be true. But with God, all things are possible. RIGHT!?

Life in general: Must I go into detail? Kids are doing good, it's just lots of work. Dominic and Adriana are both swimming. Dominic is doing amazing! A lot better than I had ever expected. He whined he didn't want to do it but he is loving it. Delayna is NON STOP as usual. She is learning a lot in school. It's good that she is going but my days are extremely hectic with drop offs and pick ups at all hours of the day. All of the older 3 are doing very well in school. My kids seriously amaze me! It amazes me that I am their Mama! It amazes me that they are simply amazing kids. Yes, they can be pains. Make dumb choices. Want to go out with their friends more than I like. But they are good kids. They have a bright future ahead of them!

Loving the Unlovable

So, remember my last post on Bible Study, we were going to start the series, "Loving the Unlovable".  I *thought* I was going to update you on this study and maybe even blog my thought's, journals.  BUT, I honestly can't.  As much as I'd like to, some stuff just doesn't need to be out in the bloggasphere (Melissa's made up word).
But, I did write something last week that I thought I'd share on here.  I know I wrote it last week, but I just haven't taken the time to put it on here.  I seriously need to be waking up at like 6 am to beat these kids to 'bug mode'.  Once their awake, I feel like I'm at their becking call...UGH!  I shouldn't be complaining, I'm SO BLESSED to be able to be at home with my babies, but sometimes!
Anyway, this isn't a rant post or a post about my kids.  It's a post about something that God spoke to me.

So, day 4, Step 1 of "The Top 10 Ways to Love the Unlovable"...
I highlighted the following excerpts from the page and then rolled off of those.  So, I will bold & italicize the excerpts. Underline some things that jumped out at me...


First step in recovery is the most important because the admission of their problem opens the door to their recovery, so does acknowledging the unlovable/difficult people in our life open the door to healing...
As a result of you changing, that person may or ma not move off the list you have, but...their unlovable, difficult attitude will no longer have the same power over you! CAN I GET AN AMEN!!!
With in all of this was the word LOVE that I highlighted & underlined.
Psalm 4:4 "Be angry and do not sin.  Meditate within your heart on your bed and be still."
The word "meditate"-The act of thoughtful deliberation with the implication of speaking to one's self."
This is what the Holy Spirit took me to:
John 3:16, we all know the verse and can quote it, but I pulled some things out of it...
For God so LOVED the world.
LOVE~ Immeasurable LOVE, Agape (the highest and purest form of love, one that surpasses all other types of affection.) LOVE.  We need to have that for each other.  Doesn't mean we accept the wrong from others, it means we love despite. <-OUCH!
WORLD~The world (we the people existing) are full of unlovable characters/traits.
But despite our nstiness/ugliness, God gave his ONLY son to come and die for us.
God set the example of how we should love those, despite all.
So, what this all says to me is, despite every "ill" thing done, I am to love still.  Doesn't mean I have to allow the "ill" in my life.  Doesn't mean I have to live in misery or listen to the "ill".  Doesn't mean I have to allow it to penetrate my soul.
It simply means, "Show God's unconditional love, despite it all."

So, in all of our ugliness, I pray that you can see past that unlovable/difficult person in your life.  I like to say, get to know the story before you judge the cover.  You never know what's behind all of that anger, hurt, illness coming from that person.
As you allow God to change your heart, I pray He gives you HIS Agape love that you can pour out to those difficult people in your life!

My Destination?

So on the note of my weightloss & my Destination, I thought I'd update bible study stuff.
Jesus Girlz is wrapping up our first summer study, Balance of the Mind, Body & Spirit, tomorrow and will be starting our new study...
"Loving The Unlovable"...Can I be totally honest & transparent?  Well, I'm going to!  Everytime I think of doing this study I feel like Eeyore!  I just kinda go...."UMPH!"  And feel like moping.  I KNOW God wants me to do this.  He presented this to me about a year ago at MOTS.  It hit me to the core!  And that wasn't even doing the study, it was just Kim aka Evinda Lepins  sharing her testimony and focusing on this study. God has been prepping me to do this study, and I truly believe he has the people in this group that need this.  I'm believing for a breakthrough, not only in my life, but in others that I've been blessed to have their stories shared with me.  So in preparing for this, I've kind of been praying.  Yes, kind of.  It hasn't been on the top of my priority list and I know it should have been!  Simply because, I knew satan was going to attack.  And guess what, he did!
Oh yeah, that sneaky little son of a %&#($)#)$*#(#*)#@)@_
And he took a stupid soccer game to do it with...REALLY!?!?!  REALLY!
But, God has it all in His hands and I'm standing firm that He is going to do what He needs to do, no matter what the circumstance!  I'm currently in a confused state and don't know what to do about somethings, but as I seek God's direction, I believe it will all be revealed.
So, on that...I've had 5 girls inform me that they aren't going to make it to the study tomorrow.  I know things happen, but man, satan sure is on his P's & Q's and will use anything for people to not get to their Destination.  I'm not worried though (I was at first!).  God is orchestrating this all & guess what...If He's in it, His will, will be done!
For now, I'm going to leave you with the beginning of Loving the Unlovable (there goes Eeyore again).  I will update you to what happens at the bible study.
Keep your focus, because we may not be what we should be, but we are on a journey!  What's your Destination?

I beat my husband...

OH YEAH!  HA HA HA
Really, Mr. Herrera has ALWAY'S been Mr. Fit!  He used to work out like a crazed lunatic back in the days, we would lift weights together, workout together, etc.  He was ALWAYS more fit then me!  I mean ALWAYS!!!
Well, just recently I started working out on the Gazelle that I was blessed with.  And while doing the Gazelle, I started doing crunches, ball lift things and other ab exercises.  Tonight I was doing them and Jose commented that he wants to start working out again.  So I challenged him to get down on the floor and do what I was doing.
He did, but he was struggling!  Is it bad that I find pleasure in my skinny, fit, construction husband not being able to keep up with the core exercises that I'm doing?  I'd like to think it's not all that bad ;-)
So, after showing him up, my daughter thought she could show me up, but was proven WRONG!  HA!
I've still got a LONG road ahead of me to get physically (spiritually & mentally) where I want NEED to be.  But to see that I just outdid someone I'd NEVER thought I'd outdo, it gave me a push and made me feel good...OKAY, I'll admit it...IT MADE ME FEEL GREAT!  HA!!!!
On that note, I was browsing around on Sparkpeople.com.  I joined on there back in 2008 when I was working at the gym.  I found my first weigh in stats.  I am truly proud to say that from 2008, and after having a baby, I am down 23lbs!  2" off of my waist and thighs.  Not where I want to be, again, but on the road to my 'Destination' (I've stolen that word from my new spiritual BFF, Evinda Lepins).
From here, I'm going to start a new blog post, just because that's what I need to do =)

Bible Study #4...Coffee Hour With Chicklit Power by Evinda Lepins

I had to come and share my most amazing encounter lately.  I posted it on facebook and I'm just going to transfer everything here.

So, after much prayer and seeking the Lord in the direction that He wants me, I have finally recieved confirmation on the summer study.I have to give you the story behind it all, just so you can all see how good God is...You all knew I was praying regarding the bible study.  I wanted to do something light, but deep, something that we wouldn't have as much work and time devoted to the study, but yet something that would keep us in the word on a daily basis.  Keeping us connected to God and keeping our relationship built up.  Some of you came to me with suggestions, but nothing was 'it'.  Well, I had the opportunity to meet a woman name Kim.  She came to my MOT's group last year and shared her testimony as well as some of her information & book.  I was fortunate enough to have her at my table and I was able to spend some time with her and share my life testimony with her.  We've kept contact and she recently visited MOT's again.  She brought her products this time and I purchased her book.  Now, unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to read any of her book, but I did glance at it.  Something kept telling me that I should use this for the summer bible study.  Now being that it's not in a bible study format, I kept pushing the 'idea' out of my head.  WELLLLLL, last Friday, I jumped onto Facebook while I was outside looking for something for dinner.  I noticed that Kim invited me into her group.  So, I accepted the invite, but didn't have a chance to really look at it.  Later that afternoon Jose and I were in the garage and I went to her page on my phone.  The first thing I saw was the following..."Okay, so I'm really giving some serious thought to something because I keep getting this question from complete strangers: "Does CPM have a women's Bible Study?" So, let's put it out there. Would anyone be interested in a once-a-month Bible Study using our "Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power, A Cup of Encouragement for the Day" book? There's some great series in there. Let us know:)"OMG...ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?!  So I replied the following:"Hey Evinda Lepins, this is awesome!!! I will be wrapping up my M2C bible study next week and I have been praying about doing a summer bible study. I have had your book next to my bed and it's been taunting me to use it for the summer bible study (HONESTLY!!!). But I didn't know, because it's not in a format that I could figure out.  So, I brought the subject to the table at my bible study today. We will be meeting every other week. I want something light & not too deep. And a book that we can get our hands on now. Then I saw your post on this. I would LOVE to be your "guinea pig" and use your book as our bible study!!! Let's talk about it. I would like to start June 10th. You can either message me here or contact me on my cell phone. I will be in San Diego for soccer tournaments this weekend, but I will get with you!!! LET'S DO IT!"
Personally, I don't believe in coinsidence...As Kim aka Evinda told me, "absolute GOD things".  So, not only do we have a bible study and one that we can get our hands on right away, BUT...ARE YOU READY FOR THE KICKER!?!?!?!Kim aka Evinda (btw, that's her author name) is going to be joininig us on Friday for our Luau and will be selling the books, signing our books and explaining the bible study to us!!!How freaking cool is it that God confirmed this the way that he can only do and we not only have an amazing bible study set up for the summer, BUT...WE GET TO MEET THE AUTHOR IN PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ACK!  HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!  Come on, how often have you met an author of a published book?Okay, I'll settle down now.  I just can't tell you how amazing God is and how hard it's been to keep this cat in the bag.  It's been clawing at me all week!  And, being with Amber all weekend, had the book on me and I couldn't share with her!  It killed!!!So, I hope you all are as excited as I am!

Follow up to that...We met this past Friday and I can't tell you the excitement my girls had!  I actually have one girl that declined the summer bible study, but after hearing Evinda's story and what we believe God is going to do, she decided to join!

God is good & is giving us favor.  On July 22nd we will be wrapping up the next bible study called, Loving the Unlovable.  The next day, Evinda will be having her CPM's One Year Anniversary Party...guess who will be there with a testimony of her book becoming a bible study!?!?!  YEAH, The Jesus Girlz...HA HA HA HA!!!  AMAZING, SIMPLY AMAZING!  I can't wait to see what God is going to do, the break throughs that I am praying to happen, the walls to be taken apart one brick at a time. 

I will keep ya'll updated!

 

Bible Study Follow Up

Back in September I wrote I'm Birthing and shared what God told me to do and move forward in His will for my life.  Well, here I am, 8 months, 4 bible studies and 12 precious souls later.
That's right, I've completed 3 bible studies (Frazzled Female, Victoriously Frazzled & Made To Crave).  I'm currently starting a new study out of the book, Coffee Hour With Chicklit Power  by the name of  'Balance of the Mind, Body & Soul'.
I honestly didn't think that I would have gotten this far in this ministry, but man, when you step out and allow God to step in, you NEVER know what is going to happen!!!
The only regret that I have is that I didn't blog more frequently about the things that I was going through as long as what the study was doing for me.  Especially this last one, Made To Crave.  Oh man has it jacked me up in a good way!  I am on a journey of learning to love myself, accept myself, take time for myself and learn that I AM MADE FOR MORE!
I'm currently focusing on my health, eating, physical activity (yes, exercising will be a part of it, as soon as my body is aligned with God's healing power!  I'm crippled with a horrible sciatica nerve that just recently got messed up again down at the San Diego tournament.  It hurts in places I didn't think your back would effect.  But anywho).  I have a few people in my life, including my 73 year old Gramma that has successfully lost significant amounts of weight by using the BodyBugg.  After doing who knows how many different diets, "life changes", trying this & that, I decided that I would do something that has shown effectiveness in the lives of real people around me (including my Gramma).  So, Melissa bought herself a Mother's Day present.  Oh yes, I went and bought myself a BodyBugg.  I have been on the 'program' for 3 weeks now, and even though I haven't lost a significant amount of weight (due to this bodybugg, I've learned that I am physically active without working out.  I can easily burn over 2,500 calories a day just by being me and doing my daily chores/running around/taking care of kids & house.  My biggest problem when I'm focused on my eating is that I don't eat enough.  I'm lucky if I get in 1,400 calories a day sometimes.  Therefor my metabolism shuts down and thus the reasoning for not losing.).  But it's not the numbers on the scale for me anymore, it's feeling content in who I am, knowing that I made better choices that day for myself and no one else. That if I did have a slip up, there is always tomorrow to make it right.  And that putting God first in all I do means more than devouring those Oreo's with a big 'ol glass of ice cold milk!
Yeah, I've come a ways from where I was regarding my weight, but even further in where I am in my walk with the Lord.
I'm really going to try hard to blog daily.  The new bible study that we are starting requires us to journal.  And my way of journaling is on my blog.  I do have many journals that I've kept notes in for my bible studies, but they get tossed to the side.  Here allows me to look up by subject, dates, etc to see where I was, what I was going through, etc.
I pray that whomever reads this is blessed & can see God's hand at work.  It is all Him & I am utterly overwhelmed and humbled that He would use a broken little girl to reach the lives of those that I'm reaching.  I don't know where this journey is going to take me, but I do know that as long as I seek Him first, it will be successful...

Frustration

So I'm sitting in Gus' with my family. Jose ordered the burger & fry family pack and a chicken salad for me. They brought the burgers & fries out and I am sitting here having the hardest time not grabbing a few fries & dredging them in ranch. Ugh this sucks!!!!
My salad is here and it's fried chicken tenders on top with bacon. I want to devour it! And dredge it in ranch.
I didn't though. I served myself a fourth of the salad & threw a few forks of ranch on.
Jose asked me what was wrong, he could see the frustration on my face. This is so not easy, but it will be worth it.
I want to cry I'm so irritated :(

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