Lately God has been dealing with me with my 'self worth' I guess you could say. Something I have ALWAYS dealt with. Just not feeling worthy enough for anyone, thing or body. He has been placing me into positions and places that I wouldn't normally place myself & if I was in it, I would run as fast as I could to get myself out of the 'situation'.
Well, this past month or so He has been placing me in situations that I have opened my heart to, stepped into and accomplished.
For example, something so simple & stupid (IMO)...
I am the Fundraiser Coordinator for AYSO (Soccer). I have no problems talking to people 1:1, but presenting something is a whole other ball game for me. For the past 2 years I have skidded out of presenting the Fundraiser Info at the Team Parent Meeting. Well this past week, not only did I show up for the Team Parent Meeting, but I stood up infront of who knows how many people and presented the fundraiser info. It was a little intimidating, considering I had about 4 friends out there that in the past I would have been afraid of them judging me. Not to mention, my Pastor & his wife...I know, they're just humans just like I am, but it's a little intimidating to me (just being transparent).
Well, in my opinion, I did one heck of a job presenting & getting the info out to the parents. I had a few trip ups, but I kept on going & enjoyed myself.
So, a few months ago, I was presented with the opportunity to become a table leader at my MOTS group. Not something that I had ever intended on doing, I'm just fine coming every other week and spending time with Godly women, fellowshipping, eating, praying, etc. But, I felt a nudge. So I contacted Kindra in regards to becoming a table leader...Come to find out, she was praying about me being one...WHAT, NO WAY! Now that was just a confirmation that God wanted me there.
Now this past Saturday, Monica informed me that there was a Leadership Meeting that Jose & I was supposed to attend. Well, I was all confused. Jose told me about it a while back, but I didn't hear anything else about it. Jose reminded me that Mick & Janie asked him that we both attend. So we changed our plans & went. Once again, Ken stated that not only him & his wife, Lisa, was praying about every person there at that meeting, but so was a couple more married couples regarding who they wanted trained up to be leaders in the church....WOW, God once again has told me that He wants me in this position.
One more...I have had a nudge to start leading a Women's Home Bible Study...Do I feel worthy? Nope! He has been telling me this for quite sometime now, but I shush Him and tell Him, NO! Who am I to "Shush" God??? How dare I! So, I stepped out and called Janie in regards to this...Once again, confirmation from her about it. I still have to sit with her and go over somethings, but I know God is positioning me...WOW!
Today, I checked my daily email & was reading my Proverbs 31 Encouragement For The Day... And, yes, again, another confirmation. Here's what it said...
WOW, what a 'Gut Check'. Thank you Father for who you are in me! I praise you for your love & the fullness I can find, ONLY IN YOU! I praise you and give you ALL of the Glory!
27 Aug 2009Lysa TerKeurst
"I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws." Psalm 119:30 (NIV)
As a little girl, I had longed for a daddy to pick me up, swing me around, and tell me I was lovely and loved. When this childhood longing went unmet, it became an adult emptiness and brokenness that drove me to seek out all kinds of misguided remedies.
My primary remedy was to look for someone or something that would make me feel loved and significant. It's as if I carried around a little heart-shaped cup and extended it to whatever or whomever I perceived might fill it.
I presented the cup to my education: "Will you fill me?"
I offered it to my husband: "Will you fill me?"
I held it out to my child: "Will you fill me?"
I extended it to my material possessions: "Will you fill me?"
I presented it to each of my jobs: "Will you fill me?"
Within these questions were many more entanglements: "Will you right all my wrongs?" "Will you fill up my insecurities?" "Will you make me feel significant?" The more I offered my emptiness hoping something could fill it, the more frustrated I felt.
And when I had grown in my faith, I was especially perplexed. Wasn't being a Christian supposed to fix these kinds of issues in my heart? What was I missing?
Have you ever been there?
Why is it so tempting to look to things of this world for fulfillment? This notion that worldly things can fulfill is all around us. It's on TV, the focus of countless secular songs, and it's what dominates American advertisements. I can't even stand in the grocery store checkout lane without being bombarded with suggestions for a more fulfilling life. A better husband. A better body. A better career. A more beautifully decorated house. The magazines seem so slick, their promises so enticing. They sneak into our thought processes and make us think, "If only I had _______________, I'd be so happy. I'd be so fulfilled."
So, we chase and chase until we bankrupt our relationships, our bank accounts, and our very souls. The reality is every single thing the world offers is temporary. No person, possession, profession, or position can ever fill the cup of a wounded, empty heart—not my heart, not your heart. It's an emptiness only God can fill.
Whatever "if only I had" statement we are struggling with, we can replace it with solid truths from Scripture that will never leave us empty. It's a bold statement to make and might even sound a bit trite, but it's true.
When God's Word gets inside of us, it becomes the new way we process life. It rearranges our thoughts, our motives, our needs, and our desires. Our soul was tailor made to be filled with God and His truth; therefore, it seeps into every part of us and fills us completely. It is the only perfect fit.
Dear Lord, we ask today that You set within us a passion for Your Word. A passion that will override the fleshly desire within us to chase after fulfillment from people, possessions, professions, or positions. Lord, help us place the highest importance on getting into Your Word every day. And may we always approach Your Word with a humility of need and a heart ready to receive all You want to teach us. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Visit Lysa TerKeurst's blog for a list of her favorite Bible Verses. This is just the jump start you need to get into God's Word each day.
If you connected with this devotion, you won't want to miss Lysa's upcoming book, Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl. To order your copy today, click here.
What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa TerKeurst
Fill in this blank: I've always thought, "If only I had _________________ I'd be happy and fulfilled.
Now, visit Lysa's blog for a list of Bible Verses to help replace this faulty script we play in our minds.
What or who have I tried to get fulfillment from?
How does this damage my relationships?
Psalm 19:7a, "The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul." (NIV)
Psalm 27:10 -11a, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me your way O Lord; lead me in a straight path…" (NIV)
Psalm 45:1a, "My heart is stirred by a noble theme as I recite my verses for the king…" (NIV)
© 2009 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.
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Proverbs 31 Ministries
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I pray that I continue to seek your face daily and listen to your voice. That even though my life is hectic that I continually see the work you are completing in me. In Jesus name...Amen
PS, school updates are coming, I just needed to get this out...My schedule & life has me running at the moment, but I will catch up!