I wasn't able to get on here yesterday and blog or post. I didn't put it onto facebook because I have more to say than what facebook will publish. I figured I'd do a blog post instead.
Today I have to say I'm thankful for God. Before you read it and think, "well isn't everyone?" just hear me out.
There have been many times in my life that I wonder, "am I where God wants me? Am I doing what God wants me to do? Am I in the position God wants me to be in?" I don't always get an answer but I will live my life as though I feel God is directing me. Seeking his word, keeping in constant communication with him (Don't get me wrong, I will be completely honest and transparent. I don't spend time with Him in the morning like I should. I don't get up and pray or study in the morning. I don't pray alone or with my husband before I go to sleep, although I do with my younger children. I do my study at night.). I really do try to seek His direction for my life on a constant basis.
Well yesterday He showed himself to me in a mighty way (don't get nervous, God didn't show up in my living room and have a pow wow...Although that would be pretty cool!). First off, it was a super busy morning and I had a lot to get done since I was down for two days with a migraine. I knew I had to call and speak with my Pastor regarding the Thanksgiving outreach but the night before when I had texted him, he told me he had some things to discuss with me. I wondered all night and really just wanted to know what he would want to talk with me about. I love my Pastor and our relationship has grown this past six months but the last time he had something to talk to me about it was asking me if I would like to be the church's Event's Coordinator. So this time I wasn't sure what was up his sleeve. So I gave him a call and he was busy at the moment so he shot me a text to let me know he'd call me back...Cool. He called me back and I was able to speak with him regarding some areas of the outreach I needed to talk to him about. Then he let me know what he wanted to talk to me about. I can't honestly tell you what he said. I mean, I know what he said, I was listening, but it was almost as though God was opening my eyes to something. Our church has been in a great trial for about 2 years now. We have had a family loose their infant, many church members left, there was a division (obviously satan's hand was in that one!), financial strife to most recently people struck with cancer, families literally torn apart by those they trusted and did I say financial strife? So much my Pastor's wife had to go back to work full time. So as we spoke, I felt his heart, I KNOW how he is feeling, I'm there! My heart is SO broken over everything going on. PT started telling me about his plans for 2013 and what direction God is leading him in. He basically was telling me, it's time to go back and take back what belongs to us! We needed to rebuild our city and specifically our church! We need to put aside our own "comfort" and step out to do what God is calling us to do, to allow our hearts break for what breaks His, to give a little more of ourselves and do whatever it takes to do it.
This all struck a cord with me. I interrupted PT and had to share with him. I've been seeking God's direction for the next study for my Jesus Girlz group. I read a synopsis on Kelly Minter's book Nehemiah and REALLY wanted to get my girls into this study. But God kept stopping me, literally! He wouldn't let me do it. I wasn't sure why, yet. He was directing me to the study of Ruth by Kelly Minter. No matter which direction I tried to go around it, Ruth is where he kept directing me. So, Ruth it is! I ordered the books and told God, "Lord, you know what you are doing. Have your way. Bring those that need this study to the study." I now see why God didn't want me doing Nehemiah...YET! He is going to take us into the new year studying Nehemiah. Why? Because it is lining up with what HE is going to do in our church.---seriously crying right now!---
Todd confirmed my thoughts as I was telling him this. He is seeking a study out of the book of Nehemiah for our church. God confirmed both of our directions in that moment (HA, PT and I had a moment...HAHAHAHA). Anyways...WOW, how good is God!?!?! I am where HE wants me!
Well my dears, that isn't the end of my day. The night before I received a text message from my newest Jesus Girl, Michelle. She wanted to let me know how excited she is for Friday. I teased her asking her if she was excited for the next CIF game (she assist's the football coach and we are in CIF! Another blog post I owe you all!). Of course I knew what she was talking about. Then I thought...How crazy is it that I met Michelle about 10 years ago. She was a helper at the city after school day care that babysat Ant & Adi. We have kept in touch, thanks to a small town and facebook. Who knew that God would lead me to her to be her bible study leader. That after 10 years she would be coming to my bible study...MINE! I mean, I know I have my girls but it amazes me, truly it does!
Oh and that isn't all...I had another GF posting on facebook wanting to help out with the Thanksgiving Outreach. We started instant messaging regarding some other stuff but this is how it turned:
It is such a humbling thing to see how God is placing you and positioning you for HIS glory. I don't know where this will take us. I do pray God softens her heart and she joins me one Sunday at church. But until them, I'm going to continue to be Melissa. By the way, just to mention it...Jennifer and I met through me doing a Pampered Chef party for her. So don't tell me God doesn't have me doing Pampered Chef for a reason!
To wrap this up, I just thank God for who He is. For His grace, love, mercy, faithfulness...even when I'm not!
I'm going to leave you with a video of a song that struck me today while cleaning. I heard it and thought, that would go good with my blog post!