Sunday, January 11, 2009

Getting Excited?

So the question has been asked alot these past few days...
Are you getting excited yet?
For the most part, I have answered with a, "Yeah, it's getting exciting."
Until last night. Bridget called and asked me the question and I literally just blurted out...
"No, not really. Anxious, yes. Who am I kidding, this isn't my first or second, I know what comes after the birth. I'm really not looking forward to nursing every two hours, not getting any sleep, the pain of my recovery."
Then I realized what I said..."OMG, I am so sorry, I must sound like a horrible mother!"
She told me, "No your not, your honest and you really know what a baby means. It's not all fun and games."
I guess I was able to let the truth out to someone who I knew wouldn't judge me or look down on me for feeling the way that I am at this point.
I was driving home after taking Ant & Sarah to church this morning and I just got an anxiety attack out of nowhere. Thinking, I will have a baby pretty soon that I will have to be getting ready for church. All the responsibilities that comes with it, the worries that come with it, just everything that comes with a baby.
Don't get me wrong, I am excited that we will be having another Herrera bundle of joy. Every single one of my children have brought me immense joy, happiness & just a fulfillment that words can not describe. This baby has just been a surprise since day one, and I think I am still in awe over having another.
My Aunt Joyce keeps telling me, " This one will be extra special, Melissa. Each child is a gift, and the ones we don't plan, well, it is in God's plan, so they are special!"
I know this one has already brought Jose and I to a point of humbleness, that I never thought a baby could do. We have had so many people reach out and supply our needs.
So, yes, you can say I'm getting excited, but, I am also dealing with SO many emotions right now and trying to be the "do'er" that I am, trying to get everything under the sun done before I have this baby.


kbell said...

Yeah, the mystery is goes away with each baby.

Before Nathan came home, I was so beyond excited. I was to savor each moment.

Now that we are looking to the second, I'm a bit scared of the middle of the night. lol

Mrs.J said...

Hi agree with Bridget, Mit your a wonderful mommy but your also a responsible mommy.You better than any know the work you put in to your family and each and every one of your babies is a treasure. Your family is growing and so is your heart.

This Is Me, Doing What I Do said...

Thanks Girls! Guess the time is getting closer and emotions are getting deeper...