Saturday, January 10, 2009

I miss my Honey

Lately, this pregnancy has been taking hold of me "by the balls" as people say.
My back, hips, groin all hurt 24/7. I am exhausted, and just have no energy unless I get a good nights sleep and wake up with it. But then it diminishes fairly quickly and I am looking for every opportunity to take a nap.
Well, being that Jose works & sometimes late, we just haven't had any time to just sit and spend with each other.
I'm not slacking on my "wifely duties" by any means. The house is clean, dinner is ready when he gets home, the kids are all taken care of, laundry done, etc.
BUT, the time that we would be able to have together has diminished.
He has really started to dive into his bible, studying the word, taking time to make a relationship with God a priority. Don't get me wrong, I support it 110%! I am blessed to be a wife of a man that is taking his relationship with the Lord higher, believe me, I know I am. This has been something I have prayed for for YEARS!
He is reading his bible and the book "The God Chasers" by Tommy Tenney every night before he goes to sleep. Tuesdays he goes to bible study, Wednesday he has made it a priority to go to prayer night, Thursdays he tries his hardest to make it to church and Fridays he goes to bible study again. I am ECSTATIC!
But, I can't make it to all of these things with him. I am getting to the point where I can barely eat my dinner at night & clean up, let alone do all that and go out until 8:30pm, get home and get the kids to bed.
Then yesterday I was just feeling...Waaaaa!
I miss my husband!
We both feel it when we need to spend time together! I think my kids can feel it too. Adriana was going through my wallet the other day and found a gift card that I have had in there for a little over a year to The Cheesecake Factory. She asked me, "Mom, why haven't you used this yet?" I told her, "Because we can't afford to go with all of you guys, that will barely cover mine & papa's meal."
She replied, "Well, why don't you & papa just go out?" Of course, being mama, I answered, "Because it wouldn't be fair to go out without you guys."
She didn't feel that way, she told me, "Mom, you guys should go."
Yeah, I think I agree with her, it's about time Jose went out just the two of us. Especially before the baby comes!
So, last night Jose went to bible study, came home at about 8:45pm. I was up waiting for him. He went into the kitchen to make himself something to eat. I told him, I just want to hold you. I miss you! So, he told me he would make his food and come up.
I got my book and headed upstairs to lay in bed and read. So much for him coming up and eating...
Him and Anthony got into a debate about soccer shoes and socks. Then it was on for about 30 mins...Then he was messing around with the kids.
Yeah, it's all cheesy that he's playing with the kids and taking time for them, but HELLO!
I stayed patient, while I laid in bed reading my book.
He finally came up, but picked up his book and bible and started reading.
I finished my chapter, while he was still reading. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. It was already after 10:30pm.
So, I laid down and tried to get comfortable.
He followed suit not much longer. We just laid there holding each others arms while we dozed off.
He had to work this morning, so he was up at the butt crack of dawn. Kissed me good-bye and went on his way.
I woke up at 6:30 and was just in a mood. Not a bad mood, just a "I miss my husband" mood.
So, I gave him a call at almost 7 am. He was sitting in his truck at work waiting for the rest of the crew to show up.
Luckily we were able to talk and express to each other how we feel. He is in the same situation, feeling the same way.
He knows that what he is doing is good, but he sees that he is leaving his wife behind. Not intentionally, but just caught up in the moment.
We will see what comes out of it. Hopefully we will make the time to go out, just the two of us and spend some quality time together. If we don't do it before the baby comes, it won't be for a while and that will make the situation worse.
Anyways, I will be back with an update, hopefully soon!


Mrs.J said...

I am glad that you guys are able to be so open with each other. Call me I'll stay with the kids, Even if you two just go on drive together. I love you Guys!!