Saturday, November 21, 2009


I have been so out of it lately. For the past 4 weeks to be exact. I don't know why. My house is a disaster, my room is in complete shambles, I am forgetting EVERYTHING and can't seem to find anything.
I just don't know what is going on. I feel like I am living everyday for the day & not thinking about the next. I'm not enjoying my days and anticipating it to be over. I don't know what is wrong & I'm frustrated by it!
I remember taking a class in college and it taught you to exam what it going on in your life. Have you been dealing with sick family members, stresses, big changes, emotional issues. When I remembered this I started to evaluate everything that has happened the last 4 weeks.
Delayna started to get sick, running fevers, runny nose, not sleeping, very cranky. It then went into her chest and she was just a monster.
Dominic got sick & was home for 2 days just laying around not feeling good.
Then the news of Robin. Honestly, when I would get news about Robin, I always felt a peace about her condition, even the last time she was really bad. But not this time...My heart sunk and I felt as though God told me, "Melissa, she's coming home with me this time." I literally went into a shell. I didn't want to deal (which is what I do when things like this happen).
That week was my first Pampered Chef show, the AYSO fundraiser handout (which always makes me stress), I had to teach at FUSION, James' birthday Halloween & Adriana's birthday. We had a good time, but I felt an emptiness. That's when I got the call about Robin going home in her sleep that morning.
That week was rough, I had MOTS on Wednesday and Delayna was still sick. Saturday I had a full busy day with Ant going to UCLA, soccer games, AYSO dinner. Sunday church, family pics, FUSION.
The following weeks was full with soccer, a friend's birthday, a Women's Event and planning Girlie Talk.
Which brings us to this week, Delayna being diagnosed with bronchitis & an ear infection, MOTS, soccer practice & a game during the week, Anthony being diagnosed with a throat infection, Jose working in Hollywood all week (he was leaving around 4:30am & getting home around 8-8:30pm) making LONG days for me! Soccer tournaments, some horrible news in my family and just a stressful FUNK!
I am SO over it all! I need a break, a maid and a chef!
I am emotionally, physically, spiritually and every otherlly spent!
As I type, I have a baby sleeping, Jose & Ant at the soccer fields watching other kids play & Adriana bugging to go...she has a game in 20 mins.
I want to be DONE! Done with running, rushing, being lost, and not having a handle on my life.
OK, off I go, to yet another soccer game.
I will try to update on my baby girl turning 10 months later & all her new found activities. Oh and the other 3's school reports...Adi made honor roll!


Speaking from the Heart said...


I am sorry that you are going through so much. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Mrs.J said...

Girl I love you, I know it is stressful and crazy and a mess,this too you will survive.Your a wonderful mom and wife!